Las Vegas Mama

The Link Between Diapers and Vom

2012-01-29T20:36:00.000-08:00

Ivy is 5 years old. And because she is practically a grown up at this point, I was thinking that it's time she starts earning her keep. To that end, I figured I should teach her how to change Rose's diaper.

Not that I mind changing diapers, but having Ivy do it could free me up to do other important things such as playing hopscotch. This is where I line up drinking glasses, fill them all with scotch, and drink every alternate glass. Maybe filling them with iced tea would be more prudent. But frankly, hoptea just sounds like a stupid made up game.

So a couple of days ago, I asked Ivy to come and change Rose. The moment she got close enough to smell the diaper, she gagged. Melodrama, I thought to myself as stifled an eye roll. I told her to forget it and not to worry about it - I would change Rose myself. But Ivy is a good girl and she really wanted to please me. "No, it's ok mom, I can do this," she insisted.

But as she tried to unbutton the onesie at the business end of the baby, she got a very strong whiff.

Gag!

I looked at her, trying to see if she would try to keep her cool.

Gag!

Oh no, this really was serious!

Gag!

Abort! Abort!

Gag!

"Ivy, run away!" I cried.

She ran. As she went, I could hear "Gag! Gag! Gag!"

SPLASH!

The lesson I learned that day was twofold:

1) Ivy has a very sensitive gag reflex so diaper changes are out

2) A vomit comet of cheerios and milk is disgusting to clean up

I guess I now need to find another way for Ivy to earn her keep. I am thinking something like court jester. She has a good sense of humor, I bet she would love to dress up in colorful garb with a silly hat and regale me with fine tales and silly jokes.

Do you have any bright ideas I can use to have Ivy earn her keep?

The Sickness

2012-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Sprinkles and Rubbing Alcohol

2012-01-23T09:39:00.000-08:00

So I know I have talked about caffeine addiction, but because I am flawed and weak human being, I admit that addicted to chocolate as well. I have been using caffeine and chocolate to get me through stressful times, sleepy times, and just general times (as in, any time of the day). I had been keeping a candy stash, which was my go-to source when I needed a little pick me up.

But I knew this was totally unhealthy, so I had stopped buying a candy stash in an effort to curb the chocolate addiction. However, simply not having it around does not eliminate my craving for chocolate, sweets, and anything sugary.

This is why I soon found myself desperately searching the cupboards for anything that could be remotely considered a "sweet".

The only thing I could find was chocolate sprinkles in my baking cupboard.

This, of course, is not really chocolate. But it was all I had and I eagerly ate some. Bleh! They do not taste very good when not on cupcakes.

It suddenly dawned on me what I was doing was seriously pathetic. I am pretty sure I have hit a new low. Because chocolate sprinkles to a chocoholic is what rubbing alcohol is to an alcoholic. And I think I need professional help.

Lazy Saturdays

2012-01-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

It's a lazy day today. I can't shake the sleepy from my eyes, but I don't care, because it's Saturday.

There is something sweet and beautiful about Saturdays. All the toil of parenting during the week is relaxed because it is the weekend. I struggled all week long to keep the kids from watching videos in the stead of more mentally stimulating activities, I schooled, I made nutritious-ish meals (or at least tried), I did laundry, I vacuumed, I picked up, I parented firmly.

But today is Saturday, it's everyone's day off, right? Well ok, there is not really a day off for parents. But I am taking one anyway. This means that I lingered in bed even though I was awake, I made hot chocolate for the kids, and I put on a video for them.

Today I am not going to cook, I am going to heat up pre-made meals. I am not going resist their cries of "more bideos, more bideos!" I am going to nurse Rose frequently so I can sit in one spot. I am not doing laundry and I am not going to care about the dishes in the sink or the crumbs on the floor.

Go on, judge me. I don't care, because it's Saturday and I have a strict "not-caring-what-anyone-thinks" policy on Saturdays.

I'm going to put the kids down for an early nap and I am going to take a long nap as well. If I feel like it, I am just going to order a pizza for dinner and have it delivered - I won't even make the effort to pick it up. Because even though motherhood is 24/7, excellent mothering isn't. I don't have to be a fabulous mom today, I just have to get the basics right. Because it's Saturday, and gosh darn it, I deserve a break too.

How are you spending your Saturday?

How to Look Like a Rock Star

2012-01-18T22:01:00.000-08:00

Having a baby and being exhausted a lot of the time makes me feel really old and decrepit. Sometimes I see a picture of myself and I am surprised by how young I look, simply because I feel so old. And something about feeling old makes me want to at least fake youthfulness.

In fact, I think this is what you call a mid-life crisis. Or a mid-childbearing crisis. I don't want to be matronly. I don't want to be called "Ma'am". I want to be youthful and be called "Miss".

Sure, the correct term for a married woman with 3 children is "Ma'am". But I am throwing convention to the wind here because I pretty much want to pretend. I want to get hip. Be cool again (ok, I've never actually been cool, but I did say this was for pretends).

So I took a little trip down to the fantastic Euphoria Salon for some help. Here is before, at home with the baby. Clearly something needs to be done with those split ends either way. Soooo.... let's chop 'em off!

Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look!

You cannot tell it's red in this picture because of the lighting, but it is. And next time it is going to be a whole lot redder. I am getting braver. Or more desperate to reclaim my youth, one of the two.

Upon seeing my new 'do, my friend's daughter said, "You don't look like yourself."

"Who do I look like?"

"A rock star."

(insert giant smile here)

Even though I am perfectly aware that I am not now, nor will I ever be, cool enough to actually look like a rock star, I love that in her mind I did look like one. Sometimes a good hair cut is all you need to make you feel all young and kicky again. And to complete my new look I bought some new super hip sunglasses. With the new hair and the sunglasses it makes me positively want to frolic, I feel so young. I didn't even feel this young when I actually was young! Well, gotta go. I am going to gambol merrily and perhaps even romp a bit. Peace out!

Murder!

2012-01-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

Things are getting more and more interesting around da hood. I have to call it "da hood" now because of all the crimes that seem to be happening around here. First, it was the theft. Now, it is murder.

There was a dead body in our backyard. There was a gunshot wound.

It seems someone thought it would be a good idea to do target practice on pigeons, and this poor guy fell out of the sky and right into our nice, clean, normally blood-less backyard. My children found the body. Great. Now I am going to have to put them into years of therapy to heal their trauma.

Interestingly, the pigeon had a leg cuff on with an ID. Turns out it is a racing pigeon. Which brings up some other questions like, "How do you race a pigeon?" and "Who would ever want to race pigeons?"

I don't really have an answer for those questions, but apparently enough people want to race pigeons to warrant an organization called the American Racing Pigeon Union. Since this seemed to be a racing pigeon that someone wanted to race and who never made it to the finish line, I decided to notify the next of kin. Here is my message:

So to recap, first we have thievery going on. Then we have cold-blooded killings. When you factor in the occasional unexplainable bump in the night, it makes me start to think it might be a good idea to move away!

Theft!

2012-01-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

Someone stole my stroller.

Does this sound like a non-statement? Because to me, this is a big deal.

Last week I had come home from running errands, it was late in the afternoon, all three kids were melting down and I was ready to faint from exhaustion. So I unloaded everyone, put them down for naps and passed out in my bed for an hour. I had to settle for the bed because I still don't have a fainting couch for some inexplicable reason. When Phillip got home he pointed out that that I had forgotten to close the garage.

I scoffed at the importance of this. After all, I have become fond of pointing out to anyone who will listen that Henderson is the second safest city in the nation after Plano, Texas.

Fast forward to this week. I had spent the entire morning getting everyone ready for a walk to the park. But when we went to leave I could not find the stroller, which had been in our garage. I called Phillip to ask him where he put it and he said he had neither seen it nor moved it over the weekend when he was cleaning up the garage. After more fruitless searching and a sudden recollection about the open garage incident, we realized that it had been stolen.

Thanks a lot, Henderson gated community, for your false sense of security!

The idea that someone walked up to my garage and took my stroller really burns me up. I mean, who do they think they are and what gives them the right to take something that does not belong to them?

The thing is that this stroller was more than just a stroller. This was a beautiful Graco Quattro Tour stroller that was given to me by Graco when I partnered with them in 2010 for the ABC Kids Expo.

I made this vlog and this video and I wrote about it and basically worked hard to get it. This stroller was the representation of a "win" for my blogging endeavors. And someone ripped it from me. They tore the bloggy dream from my poor, tender little heart! And now I am bleeding. All over the place. In a gruesome murder scene kind of way.

How dare you, Henderson upper middle class white thief!

How to Battle Caffeine Addiction

2012-01-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

How can you battle caffeine addiction? Um, you tell me because I have no idea and I've been struggling hard against becoming addicted to caffeine. Heck, I even struggle against the idea of needing something like caffeine to get through my day. But the truth is that caffeine is like having a secret mommy superpower.

Caffeine makes me brave. Caffeine makes me want to live my life to the fullest. I can accomplish things when I have had coffee. It...dare I say it? It makes me a better person.

For example, when getting ready to go to the park with the kids, I normally just throw whatever on myself and the kids, and walk out the door. But when I have had coffee it makes me do crazy things like care about our appearance.

And, because I am nursing my 2 month old, she can also accomplish amazing things.

When I have had coffee, I can do a million things at once - like clean everything while talking on the phone with caffeine-less friends, nurse the baby, and just about anything else you can think of. Count how many arms I have in this one.

And when I have had my coffee, I am still an amazing and patient person even at the end of a long day.

How does caffeine make you better?

Things I Have Done While Nursing the Baby

2012-01-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

Nursing a baby and multi-tasking does not always go together. In fact, it never goes together. Unless you are prompted by necessity. In which case, you do what you have to do, even if it is Cirque du Soleil-worthy. Which it often is. I present to you my list of things I have done while nursing:

Plunge a toilet
Drag a toddler bed out of the bedroom
Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner
Participate in a murder mystery
Bathe my other children
Cook dinner*
Changing the baby's diaper. While I nurse her.
Load/unload a stroller and/or bike into/out of the trunk of the car
Do a load of laundry
Put on makeup
Grocery shop
Blog (duh!)
Put kids in time out
Vacuum and mop the house
Homeschool my eldest child
Brush my teeth
Take a shower
Do a cartwheel
Stand on my head
Drink a glass of water while singing the Star Spangled Banner

Ok, the last few may have been totally made up. Possibly. But you get the picture.

Every time I do accomplish one of these feats I think to myself: Wow, I rock! 5 years ago when I had my first child, nursing was so dang rough. But look at me now! I am thinking of taking my show on the road...maybe join the circus or something. I really think people would pay money to see the kind of stunts I can pull. Granted, this may compromise my modesty. So perhaps I will have to invent some sort of moveable censor dot that people can wear like they do 3-D glasses. I would call them 38-D glasses. Hm, I wonder if I can patent that?

* If you are from CPS, I am just kidding.

I Have Taken the Plunge

2012-01-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

I've been putting it off for a long time, but I finally caved and created a Facebook page for Las Vegas Mama. Part of the reason I have been avoiding it is that I didn't want to have to maintain a both a personal and a blog Facebook account. But really, unless I wanted to "friend" everyone on the internet with my personal account, I needed to make a blog page.

So here it is, I introduce you to the Las Vegas Mama Facebook Page.

Please give me a "Like", and I will try to repay you by posting entertaining and fun updates.

Quick Take Saturday

2012-01-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

You've heard of Quick Take Friday? Well, this is Quick Take Saturday. And it isn't going to be 7 Quick Takes. It's four. I refuse to be pigeon-holed into providing quick takes of my life only on Fridays. I am way too much of an individual to be herded into the corral like that.

So as an exercise in trying to get back to blogging regularly, I am going to give you a snapshot of my day today. Not that my day is so fascinating, but I need to get on the writer's treadmill and work off that postpartum brain pooch. So here we go.

Phillip is working in the garage, because he has discipline and does what is necessary regardless of how tired or lazy he might be feeling. He doesn't just sit around blogging like some people I know, who shall remain nameless. He would punch a porcupine in the back if it needed doing. This is why he is my hero.

Now that Christmas is officially over, the decorations and tree are coming down to make way for the treadmill. Apparently my brain is not the only part of me that has a pooch.

Right now, my kids are watching Peter Pan. In Spanish. We are uber cultural like that. I even used the word "uber", and that's German. So clearly, we are also tres sophisticated.

This morning I woke up on the couch since Ivy got in my bed last night. She was having nightmares about bones in the floor, which were most likely brought on by a gift she got in her shoes yesterday for Epiphany. It was a mini dinosaur excavation kit where you dig plastic bones out of a manufactured block of dirt. I think I might have been more excited about excavating than the kids were. Which reveals that I am not only cultural and sophisticated, I am also a geek.

I Used to be Funny

2012-01-06T15:37:00.000-08:00

What happened to me?

I used to be funny and entertaining. If I scroll through my past posts, especially the ones from 2010, I was actually funny! I made myself laugh, and that is hard to do because I am a tough crowd.

I know, you may be saying that I have three kids now and therefore no one expects anything from me anymore. Except for me to produce milk in copious and excessive amounts, thus making my baby balloon up into Cute Fat Baby with Plump Cheeks. Well, mission accomplished because my baby's cheeks would make a squirrel envious.

Having three kids and no sleep is not an excuse! I need to get back to the reason I started this blog in the first place - to force my brain to work. I think it's time to get back to basics. Funny basics. Basics that will make people want to actually read this blog, and will make people want to comment on the funny that I write. I want my readers to be all like, "LOL" and "OMG".

Sigh. I need a nap.

The Fairy Hobmother Strikes Again

2012-01-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I left a comment in a post about the Fairy Hobmother at Family and Life in Las Vegas saying what was on my Christmas wish list. Shortly afterwards the Fairy Hobmother paid me a visit as well and gifted me with an Amazon gift card! This kind and gentle fairy works tirelessly to give lots of other bloggers such fine gifts as well. This fairy lives at Appliances Online where she provides you with one-stop shopping online for all the appliances your little heart desires.

Wondering what exactly a Fairy "Hob"mother is? I found out its because the fairy's home at Appliances Online also sells hobs, so naturally the resident fairy needed an appliance-appropriate name. I had no idea what a hob was until now...and now you know too! You're welcome.

The really cool thing about this fairy is that if you leave a comment here and tell the Fairy Hobmother what your little heart desires, she just may pay you a visit as well!

Sweet Baby Jesus

2011-12-31T13:11:00.000-08:00

So, I am a few days late in reporting back how Midnight Mass went, but here it is.

It actually went very well. Rose stayed asleep through the procession, which slowly wound its way around the church. The priest was holding her through that procession at the start of Mass - he and "baby Jesus" came last, after a slew of incense-bearing altar boys, our deacon, another priest, and Phillip and I. When we got to the altar he gave her back to me so that Phillip and I could move forward to place her in the manger. Then the manger scene was incensed and blessed. It was a truly beautiful moment, and I imagined Jesus as a newborn, come to save the world. What an incredible sense of hope!

Up until this point Rose was incognito in her white swaddling cloth, so I am sure everyone was like, "Oooh, what a cute little boy!" and "Awwww, sweet baby Jesus!"

But then? Our priest outed her! He announced for all to hear that this was Rose Felicity and she was our baby Jesus for today. Oops! But strangely enough, people came up to us after Mass to coo at the baby and none of them knew it was a girl. So somehow they were either all late and didn't hear, or were asleep in the pews. I am thinking asleep, because I was asleep and I was walking around with my eyes open and stuff. Which is only creepy if you actually know I am asleep. I hide it well. It's a skill.

Rose ended up snapping awake the moment I put her down in the manger scene. At first she looked a little freaked out. But instead of crying at the top of her lungs she looked around at everything. I am sure she was wondering who these people surrounding her were (statues of Mary, Joseph, Angel and Shepherds). Fortunately, she sort of rolled a little to one side and ended up looking right up into the face of Mary. This seemed to grip her attention and she stared at Mary's face for quite a while. I imagined Jesus staring up at his mother's face like that.

Finally, at the Gospel she started to lose it so I picked her up and nursed her. I ended up keeping her in my lap for the rest of the Mass until just before the final blessing.

The whole 3am bedtime didn't go great for me, but at least I was able to nap the next day since my family was in town to help with the kids. And now it is New Years Eve, but there is just no way I am staying up past midnight again! Instead, I will be participating in a murder mystery this evening and ringing in the New Year at 9PM with New York.

If all goes well and I am not the one who gets bumped off tonight, then I will be sure to post pictures. I am supposed to be the "Hollywood starlet", which is going to be hard to pull off with a baby strapped to me. As a friend told me, I can pretend I am unmarried and that will make it très Hollywood.

Happy New Year! Prospero Año Nuevo y Felicidad!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

Just about everything on my Christmas to-do list has been accomplished (because I am just that good). The only thing left now is midnight Mass tonight, where Rose will be playing the starring role of baby Jesus. I'll be swaddling her in white, so no one will be the wiser that our pretend Jesus is actually a little girl.

This part she is playing is my ticket to getting reserved seats at Mass, which is no joke. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a seat at Mass for Christmas? The place is overflowing. You have to get there hours early just to get a seat.

The trade-off, however, is that I have to attend the Mass the priest wants baby Jesus to be in. Midnight Mass. So there's a little give and take involved. I give you my baby, you give me seats, and I take a caffeine pill to stay awake through it all. Ho ho ho! The jokes on me, apparently. I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, have a very Merry Christmas and I'll see you on the flip side!

The Stash

2011-12-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

I have a stash.
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No, not a 'stash! Much as I love a good mustache, I don't mean that kind. What I mean is that I have a candy stash.

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No, no, no...not a candy mustache. Though these do look tasty - what do you figure, black licorice or chocolate?

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I have a stash of candy that I hide from my kids and husband. This secret cache of sugary goodness is what often gets me through my sleep-deprived days. Funny thing about newborns - they do not sleep for very long before needing a diaper change or a feeding.

So I have been using candy as a pick-me-up whenever I feel tired, or stressed, or sleepy. Which is about 22 out of every 24 hours in the day. But see here is the thing - I have to hide it, otherwise everyone else will eat it and then where would I be?

I would still be tired, stressed, and sleepy - but without candy. And mama doesn't like that.

So I keep a stash. What vice do you turn to get through your day?

Get Your Spa On

2011-12-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Do you have any idea what it's like to have a chicken dance on your face? Or wear giant Hot Pockets on your hands? ...No? Well, up until this week neither did I. But now I can honestly say I have experienced life to its fullest. No - I'm not referring to delusions brought on by illegal narcotics even though it sort of sounds like I am.

This very odd-sounding experience was actually not that odd. In fact, it was stunningly fantastic. Again, not drugs.

The truth is that I was fortunate enough to receive an invitation by Euphoria Salon and Day Spa to come and try out their spa services. I've been going to Euphoria for several years for haircuts and manicures (love!), but had never tried out their spa services.

"Would you come get a massage and facial?" they asked.

Um, yes. Yes I will.

They treated me to a Mom's Escape Package, which consisted of the Classic Facial (50 minutes) and a Swedish Massage (also 50 minutes). As a mom of 3, including a newborn, trust me - I needed to escape for a little while!

My massage was absolutely world-class, and having been to several resort spas on the Strip I had something to compare it with. It was fantastic! But the real deal was the facial. This is where the chicken and the Hot Pockets come into play. I had never had a facial before, having always chosen massages over any other spa treatments.

And now I am so sorry I never tried a facial because it. was. awesome.

My aesthetician Vonya started me out with warm steam blowing gently onto my face to prep me for a cleansing. Vonya spent some time layering and lathering cleansing products on my face, followed by exfoliation and moisturizer. There were also "extractions", which sounds scary but really isn't.

On to the chicken. One of my favorite parts of the facial was this fluttering little massage she did with her fingertips. She did the flutter massage all over my face, tapping her fingers rapidly across my forehead, cheeks and chin - and it felt like a chicken was dancing around on my face. Or at least what I imagine that would feel like. Except far more sanitary and relaxing. Because if a chicken were actually dancing on my face, two things would be running through my head:

1) How in the world did this chicken learn to actually dance, she's really got the "beat"! and,
2) Oh geez, I don't know where your feet have been...actually, I can imagine where they've been and its grossing me out right now.

And I feel fairly confident that would not be as conducive to rest and relaxation in the way a world-class facial is.

The other bit of awesome was that the facial also consisted of a massage on my arms and hands, and she even put a special moisturizer on my hands. Then, to seal in the moisture she put on these heated mitts that looked like giant Hot Pockets. It was heavenly! In fact, I actually drifted off to sleep for a for a few minutes there.

Between the massage and the facial, by the time I left Euphoria my skin was glowing and I looked 10 years younger. I came back home feeling relaxed and refreshed and prepared to deal with the stresses and challenges of motherhood. In fact, when I got home I was actually sweet to my kids. Yeah, I know.

So I am going give Euphoria's Mom's Escape Package:

In fact, I am going to go ahead and say that this spa package is a must do on your Christmas shopping list. Be sure to "Like" Euphoria on Facebook to get discounts and coupons to make the whole thing even sweeter.

Give the woman in your life a real gift - whether it's your own mom or your BFF. And if you are a mom yourself, clue your hubby in to what you really want for Christmas. Escape. If only for a couple of hours to have a chicken dance on your face and to wear giant Hot Pockets. Who needs drugs when you have the spa?

Sick-o

2011-11-29T13:02:00.000-08:00

There are some uses of the word "sick" that are good. Like, "Hey that wheelie you just popped on your motorcycle was sick!" But these days, the word "sick" means this:

...and that's not even all the medicines we are taking.

Ivy came down with it first, then I did, and now my poor little Rose is also sick at the tender age of 4 weeks! At least she is older than Violet was when she caught RSV from Ivy at just 1 week old. Somehow, I think that Violet getting sick so early somehow toggled a superhuman immunity response to illness - she hardly ever gets sick, and this go-round she has been just fine as well. But I myself have now incubated and developed my special little germs into full on bronchitis.

While you may think this post is about complaining about all the illness and sleeplessness on all our parts, its actually not that bad. Ok, the sleeplessness is bad. Always. But apart from that, the rest is totally do-able. I had dreaded having to look after sick children now that I have 3 kiddos needing me to feed, clothe, nurture and care for them. But honestly, its totally fine. Bring on baby number 4, I'm so ready!*

Granted, I am not doing so great on consistent blogging. Much less on consistently clever and entertaining blogging. But I have bigger fish to fry in my life these days. Or more important gardens to water, if you will. Get it? Ivy, Violet, Rose?

(crickets)

Well! Anyway, I will try to be a little more consistent with blogging. I hope you will check back every couple of days to see if I have posted anything new or if I have regained any of my previous blogging cleverness.

* This foolhardy show of optimism brought to you by a delicious Panera double shot latte.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T11:00:00.000-08:00

Do Newborns Really Smile?

2011-11-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

Last night was a much better night that the 2 or 3 days preceding it - Rose finally slept calmly instead of doing that newborn grunting thing that she was doing. What a relief, I thought I had given birth to a little piggy. And then I thought, shoot - does this mean I am going to have to start giving her mud baths? Because I love mud, don't get me wrong (its so good for the skin), but it really cramps my style for my kid to be muddy. I have this ridiculous desire for my house to be clean, and mud does not picture prominently in my vision of "clean".

The point is that this morning both she and I woke up in great moods.

So Ivy and Violet came in the room to coo at Rose and also to attack her under the pretext of "petting" her. In all fairness, I know they don't really understand that she is a person and not a toy. I am mostly referring to Violet - that kid is rough on newborn piggies! You would think she is aiming for some bacon at breakfast and is intent on slaughtering her own meal. But I am trying to teach her to be gentle and I think she is starting to get the picture.

So there we all were, me and my little garden of 3, and the girls were smiling ear to ear. Rose kept looking at their faces, showing interest for the first time. And then - BAM - a smile!!!

It was a huge, open mouth smile, and it was directed at Violet. I thought for sure that was just a fluke, but then she smiled again, at Ivy. And then twice more after that! There was no mistaking it - she was actually smiling.

I hope this bodes well for her character and her sense of humor. I am thinking of buying her a rubber chicken for Christmas. Or at least a Groucho Marx pair of glasses with the nose and mustache attached. Its never too early to cultivate their interests, I say. What is Emily Post's take on the etiquette of rubber chickens as gifts?

Oh So Awkward

2011-11-07T19:02:00.000-08:00

Now that the baby is out, and I am no longer pregnant, I am faced with that awkward postpartum phase.

I just got done being extremely pregnant and my body is trying to adjust - but my belly is still very distended. This means I do not fit in my regular clothes yet. This leaves me with really only one choice: maternity clothes. But I am not pregnant anymore. And the thing about maternity wear is that is emphasizes the round belly. So I am now in that awkward phase, where I am not pregnant anymore but I only fit into pregnancy clothes.

I am that woman that people unthinkingly ask, "Oh, when are you due?" only to realize I have a baby in the stroller and there is no way possible I am actually pregnant.

And its oh, so awkward!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to take the girls out Trick or Treating because, well, I just had a baby. And its funny how little energy one has when one has given birth a few days ago.

Also, can I just say I had no idea how much recovery is involved in a natural birth? I'd had c-sections until this point, and I had the illusion that regular birth would be a cinch to recover from. Oh, how wrong I was!

Although its not my usual style, I found this picture funny and timely, so to celebrate Halloween and my recent birthing, please enjoy:

Yeah, that's about right except I didn't have pumpkin seed tears. Mine were real.

She Has Arrived!

2011-10-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

Introducing Rose Felicity, born on my birthday, October 27th at 1:31pm. 7lbs 3 oz, 19 inches long.

Argh, matey. I be born.

Party of 5

Today is THE Day

2011-10-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today is my due date. I am feeling ready to go. But nothing is happening yet. This is not part of my plan. I planned on going into labor either early or exactly on time. If I am not in labor by midnight tonight I am going to be ticked.

Well, ok, I will not be ticked. But I will be bummed. I cannot wait to hold this new baby in my arms, and everyone is asking me, "When? When? When?"

I wish I had an answer, but in the meantime I am starting to feel the pressure. I should just hide out in my house until she is born. Every time I see someone I know they ask me "When?" ... which makes me feel like I can't show my face around here until I am holding the baby in my arms instead of my uterus. I mean, how embarrassing! I am due but I am not in labor! Hello, body! Can we have some cooperation here??

So I think hiding is a good idea. That's my tactic. What do you do when you labor is imminent and everyone is staring you down?

Tina Fey at Green Valley Ranch

2011-10-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Since we moved so close to the District at Green Valley Ranch, and the weather has been nice, we are able to actually walk over there without too much effort. A sudden burst of energy over the last few days (a sign of imminent labor perhaps??) also contributed to us being able to walk over there the last two nights.

Tonight, though, instead of a band there was a DJ leading all the kids in the spongy play area in a rousing version of the Hokey Pokey. We were having dinner outside at Rachel's Cafe and enjoying the ridiculously perfect weather while this was going on, so we heard it but didn't get over there until after we finished eating. By that time, the DJ had moved on to more "adult" music for the kids and parents crowd. In other words, very urban pop music.

Can I just say how fascinating people-watching is? One little girl of about 7 years of age was busting some serious dance moves - I am sure I recognized some of them from past Madonna or Janet Jackson videos. Which these days no doubt translate into Britney Spears or Justin Bieber moves. Not that I have seen much of those pop stars dancing lately since I don't have a TV anymore, but it looked about right. It actually made me cringe to see such a little girl dancing like that.

But the best part was the DJ. During the pop songs, she was also bustin' some moves. Some kind of sexy, hip-shaking moves. She was into it. Which no doubt is part of her job, to keep the energy flowing. But the really funny thing was how incongruous her appearance was with her dance moves.

She looked like a housewife. Actually, she looked like Tina Fey portraying a house wife. Have you ever seen Tina Fey's Liz Lemon character dancing? It was kind of like that. She had the frizzy mouse-brown hair and glasses. And a shirt that looked a lot like one of my maternity shirts, except super low cut. Its a cute shirt, I would totally wear it and feel cool. It's just a maternal-looking one.

So think about watching Liz Lemon dancing sexy after a bad, hectic day at the 30 Rock studios. It would probably amuse you, wouldn't it. Well, this amused me too. Not in a mean way - though I know it probably sounds mean. But in a really funny, pleasant, "you go, girl!" kind of way. I love to see people enjoying themselves and being comfortable in their own skin. Mostly because I have always been too uptight and uncomfortable in my own skin to achieve that sort of public freedom of movement.

Maybe secretly I have always been scared that if I did dance like no one was watching I would end up the focus of someone's blog post. But you know what? I bet she was having a great time. And I know for a fact all the kids and parents were. So maybe the bottom line is - I need to take a page from this woman's book.

PS - I LOVE living in Green Valley.

Clark County Heritage Museum

2011-10-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

Let's play a game called "Quaint or Creepy?"

This is where I post pictures of something that I must categorize as either quaint or as creepy. It's October so I think this is appropriate. I went to the Clark County Heritage Museum today for the first time. I am going to give it a Muppet Rating, but first the important part: Quaint or Creepy?

Quaint.

Creepy.

Quaint.

Creepy.

Quaint.

Creepy. And weird.

Quaint.

Creepy.

Quaint.

Creepy.

Quaint.

Creepy.

Quaint.

Very creepy. I wasn't expecting to see that in there.

Quaint. A sweet shop!

Baby creepy.

Quaint.

Creepy.

Creepy...oh, wait, she's real. Yeah ok, still creepy because she was standing as still as the manequins.

And, I saved the best for last. UBER CREEPY:

Is he missing a finger?? And what is that fabric hanging off what appears to have formerly been his index finger? When he turns and fixes his gaze on you, that is Halloween creepy right there.This was the only manequin that I saw moving so it was entirely unexpected. Considering all the available creepiness, it is a shame they aren't having their Ghosts and Goblins of Nevada's Past event this year for Halloween.

Ok, now that I have had my fun, here is my review.

For younger kids (ages 1-5 range) the running around is fun - there is lots of space for them. But the place itself is not going to be very interesting to them. At the end of our exploration Ivy asked me where "the kids stuff is". I guess she was a little disappointed. But there are nice picnic areas to have lunch in, and as long as the weather cooperates it is a nice outing. Cheap, too. Only $1 for kids and $2 for adults. Groups get a discount. I paid 50 cents per.

For the older kids who might be able to understand more about the history, it will probably be a little more interesting, especially the print shop and the ghost town area. All things considered, including creep-factor and the fact that most of the history doesn't go much farther back than the 1920's, I give the museum:

Kid-Friendly Las Vegas Halloween Events

2011-10-14T15:47:00.000-07:00

Halloween is practically here! So I went through and found some of the Halloween-themed events going on around Las Vegas this month and on Halloween itself.
I know my formatting is jacked up but I haven't snared my hubby to fix it for me yet. I figured I would just get it up here and worry about formatting later.

Lied Discovery Museum - All month

The museum has lots of activities all month long, including Los Dias De Los Muertos Celebration and Ofrendas which will be on display all month. Activities are divided by age. See website for details.

Oct. 8-14: Skeleton Candy Baskets and Skeleton Figurine; Pasta Skeleton. Create a colorful pasta Catrina or Zapatista to celebrate Dias de los Muertos.

Oct. 15-21: Mini Ofrendas and Calavera and Katrina Puppet.

Oct. 22-28: Halloween- Pumpkin Patch. Create a pumpkin patch using pre-cut pumpkins and

your finger painting skills.

Oct. 29-Nov. 4: Sugar Skulls and Yarn Skull Paintings.

Cost: Regular museum entry fee or annual membership.

Halloween Spooktacular - Oct. 22
Spring Mountain Ranch State Park kicks off the Halloween celebration at 3pm. They will also hold a Children's Costume Parade at 5:30pm and there will be prizes and snacks. You can walk through the Haunted Historic Houses and a spooky guided hike at the ranch at your own risk (parents must accompany children.) Be sure to bring a flashlight. Call 875-4141 for more details.

Nevada Southern Railway - Oct. 29 - 30

For Halloween weekend the train will be decorated and the crew will be in costume. This is appropriate for very young kids as none of is meant to be scary. The Halloween Train departs October 29th and 30th at 10am, 11:30, 1pm, and 2pm.

Cost: Adults (12 and older) $10, Kids (4 to 11) $5 without costume, FREE with costume, Infants (3 and under) FREE. Adults are encouraged to come in costume

Nevadaween - Oct. 29

This celebration takes place at the Old Las Vegas Mormon Fort. From their website: "It's a Celebration of Nevada Day and Halloween! Come join us for Fun, games, raffles, and a pumpkin decorating contest. There will be candy, activities, and prizes for all the kids. Also Kids are welcome to come into the park dressed in costume! Go to www.friendsofthefort.org or call (702) 486-3511 for more information."
Cost: Adults 13 and up, $1; children 12 and under are free.
Fun Town Fright Fest - Oct 7-31
This Halloween carnival takes place at the Galleria Mall on Stephanie and Sunset.
Three spooky acres of freaky fun, food and frights including midway games, carnival rides, bungee jumping, inflatable bouncy rides, runaway train, haunted hayride, pony rides, pumpkin patch, street entertainers, raffles and more. All proceeds benefit People's Autism Foundation. Check out the website for more information.

Mandalay Bay Haunted Reef - Oct. 29

As they do every year, the Shark Reef turns into an extra-creepified exhibit called the Haunted Reef, and kids under 12 who come in costume will get a special treat.

Nevada Residents: Adults, $15; Ages 5-12, $10; Children 4 and under, Free. See website for more details.

Haunted Harvest at Springs Preserve - Oct. 14-16, 21-23 and 28-31

Springs Preserve will have their annual haunted house, trick or treat stations, carnival games, live entertainment and a Scavenger Scarecrow Contest. There will also be Haunted Hayrides touring the Trails, which will be at an additional fee.

Cost: $8 for adults, $5 for children 5 to 12 and free those 4 and under. Annual pass members receive half off the regular admission price.

Town Scary - Oct. 31

If you are in the mood for a super crowded Halloween experience, go here from 4pm-8pm. If you don't mind braving the crowds there is a lot of people watching and its cute to see everyone in costume. Kids can trick or treat at all the different stores and there will be hay rides.

Cost: Free

2nd Annual Las Vegas Halloween Parade - Oct. 31

All ages welcome to participate in the parade, but beware some of the scarier costumes it you have sensitive kids. Line up at 6pm, parade starts at 7pm. See website for more details.

Movin' On

2011-10-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

It is done. We are moved into our new house. This week has been crazy. It's not been so much stressful as it was exhausting. I seriously do not know how hermit crabs do it. If I were a hermit crab I would never move houses. I would just stay in my old one, even if it squeezed me in all the wrong places and made me look fat.

Somehow, extreme pregnancy and moving a house just does not mix. You would think that it would, but it does not. Of course, technically, we are not completely moved. I still have a ton of non-essential boxes in the old house. I have things that still need going through and things that need to be junked.

I hired movers for all the big stuff, but I was responsible for getting all our super-essentials into the new house. And since my husband started a new job recently he couldn't really take the time off during the week for the move. And yes, I scheduled it during the week on purpose - because my crazy nesting instincts are running overtime, and I needed to be in the new place ASAP. So I kind of brought it all on myself.

Thankfully, a trip to the chiropractor revived me after the big move. I don't know if you are believer in chiros, but I always thought it was a bit of pseudo-science and hocus pocus. In other words, in the past I never would have gone to one. And the first time I walked into my chiro's office, her glitter lava lamp and glowing rock lamp almost sent me right back out the way I came. But I was there on the recommendation of my doula, and she said it would help me have a good birth. So I went through with it. And you know what? The next day was the best, most energetic, happiest day I'd had in months. Go fig. So now I am a big believer in the helpfulness and efficacy of going to a chiropracter.

Well, that's all for now. Super boring post, I know. But I figured I ought to at least write a little bit of an update. I am working on my Las Vegas kid-friendly Halloween events post for all you moms and dads who love Halloween more than your kids. Yeah, you need your kids to be the shield that legitimizes your being so into Halloween. I know because I am one of "those" people too.

Play Dates on $10 or Less

2011-09-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Here is the article I wrote for AOL City's Best a while back on play dates for $10 or less. I figure it bears repeating. See the original article here.

Family Fun for $10 or Less: Play, Stargaze & Skate!

Mar 3rd 2011 4:00PM / by Andrea Leal

If you're feeling all kicky and reckless, it may be time to try a kid activity for $10 or less per person. Yes, I said $10 ... I did mention recklessness, didn't I? Sometimes you just have to go for broke. And if you are a parent, then being broke is your destiny. Don't try to fight it, just accept it. It'll be easier on everyone once you do.

Run Plus Fun: This clean indoor playground (pictured at right) is a good place for kids to let loose, no matter what the weather is like. There are slides, ball pits and an area reserved for babies and toddlers. For parents there are couches and free Wi-Fi -- win-win!
Day pass, $8 per child
10875 S. Eastern Ave.; 702-272-2255

CSN's Planetarium and Observatory: Make this outing an educational one. The Planetarium features a show on various celestial bodies that is projected on a domed screen. In the evenings, once the performance is over, telescopes are set out and public observing sessions are held.
$6 for adults, $4 for children 12 and under
3200 E. Cheyenne Ave.; 702-651-4138

Rancho Crystal Palace Skating Rink: Get into some old-fashioned roller skating at this classic roller rink. If you go on "Wacky Wednesdays," you can really make your dollar stretch -- the $8 price tag includes 2 slices of pizza, skate rental, a soft drink and 4 video game tokens. Otherwise, for the same price on other days all you get is regular admission.
$8 on Wednesdays, 3pm - 9:30pm. Check website for schedule and other deals.
3901 N. Rancho Dr.; 702-645-4892

Las Vegas Ice Center: Speaking of skating, if you're more into ice skating than roller skating, and your child dreams of being a future figure skating star, then this is the place to go. The Las Vegas Ice Center's admission price includes the skates, and they even have toddler sizes. Toddler ice skating should be pretty fun. More so for those observing, probably less so for the toddler learning the hard way that the ice is slippery.
$9 for adults, $8 for kids ages 6 - 8, $5 for toddlers. Check website for public skate schedule.
9295 W. Flamingo Rd., Ste. 130; 702-320-7777

In Which Pregnancy Becomes Like Old Age

2011-09-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

I am 8 months pregnant this week. That's a lot of months. And it strikes me how similar pregnancy becomes to old age, especially the closer you get to D Day. And I know about old people. My grandpa lived to age 98, my grandma lived to age 101. And I adored them and miss them terribly. So believe me when I say that I know what I am talking about here.

Here are the ways in which, as an super duper uber gestator (is that a word?), I have become like a very, very old person.

Napping:

Like many old folks, I simply cannot get through the day without a nap. If I do not nap, I find it very hard to get through the rest of my day. I remember my abuelita nodding off in front of the tv for several hours at a time. She would wake up suddenly, surprised that it was 2 hours later.

This weekend I told Phillip, "I am going to go lay down for a few." And a few hours later, I woke up to find that several hours had passed and I never even realized it because I was so deeply asleep.

Drooling:

I should be really embarrassed about this, but I find it so noteworthy that I have to put it out there.

I drool when I sleep. A lot. I have to lay a towel over my pillow. For most of the pregnancy this has happened only during nap time. The later it gets into the pregnancy, the more I drool in my sleep even at night. Last night I woke up abruptly to find the entire side of my face wet with drool. Um, I'm just going to say it so you don't have to: gross! Then I thought to myself, "What if I drown in a pool of my own drool? How undignified would that be!!"

But then since it was the middle of the night and I was exhausted I feel back asleep right away. Still in my own drool. Again, gross.

Please note that this only happens to me in pregnancy. I am not typically a droolin' fool. Although I have met women who have told me that they had a terrible drooling/excess saliva problem even when awake to the point where they had to constantly spit into a cup. I am just lucky it only happens to me in sleep.

Getting Off The Floor:

If I get myself down on the floor, I will need a crane to get me off it. Or at least a strong helping hand. Would you ever allow your grandparent to sit on the floor?

NO.

Because you know how hard it would be to get them off it again. Same goes with pregnant women. Don't let them do it.

Getting Up From Couches:

This is another agility issue. Getting out of a chair is fine as long as its at a decent height and does not recline. But getting off a deeply cushioned couch or out of an armchair requires wriggling around and trying to lurch forward to launch yourself out of the chair using your own inertia. A helping hand is always appreciated. I remember helping my grandparents to get up from the couch or armchair many a time. These days, I remind myself of them.

Getting Tired Easily:

Elderly folks do not have a lot of energy to do stuff. They can get things done of course, but are exhausted afterwards. This is what I am a bit worried about because I am moving at the end of the month and have an entire house to pack up. Between getting tired and napping, that really cuts back on my productive time.

Daydreaming:

My mind longingly wanders to the halcyon days of my youth. The elderly also often get lost in daydreams of rosy times gone past. Actually, I am referring to just 8 months ago when I was a powerhouse of energy (well, comparatively speaking)! At least I can look forward to a baby at the end of all this and getting back to semi-normal.

Picking Items Off the Floor:

Another agility issue. I used to be able to bend at the waist to get toys and things off the floor. As I am sure my grandma was able to do when she was young. But by the time she was in her late 90's, although she could still do it if she made the effort, she looked like Bambi trying to stand for the first time- feet planted far apart, wobbly, and off balance. She would bend her knees a little to get closer to the floor, shimmy around a little to find the right balance, and then hang an arm down and use a pincer grasp to capture a portion of the item in question at its highest elevation. And that awkwardness is mine today. I should really take a picture of myself trying to pick something up. If only for laughs.

Baby Talk

2011-09-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

Let's talk babies. Why? Because I have one. In my belly. I mean there is another human being in there, how weird is that! And since I said person is just chillin' in utero, I want to talk about it. It might be boring, but too bad. You are going to have to bear the baby talk for the next several months/years - and you are just lucky I have not drowned you in baby talk before this.

Let's start the baby-talk kickoff with a shout out to my doula. Doula, yo! What up! I am happy I hired you!

Her name is Mandie and she is a Hypnobirthing instructor. Hypnobirthing is a self-hypnosis method of dealing with labor. When I first took the class I was preggers with Ivy, and expected my labor to be totally au naturel. This was a cosmic joke because in the end I had a scheduled C section. Ha ha, sooo hilarious, God.

With Violet, I did try a home VBAC but had pretty much forgotten all about Hypno, and anyway I had no doula to help me through it. 34 hours of back labor and in the end it was another C section for me.

This time around, I am attempting another VBAC, only I will be at the hospital this time. And I am thinking the epidural will be first on my list when I get there. So I will have an epidural and a doula on my side - I will be unstoppable. I am going to birth this sucker like a champ!

And I not only have a doula, I have the mother of all doulas - a Hypnobirthing instructor doula! So I am feeling really good about going into labor with her. I know she is going to take care of me and it gives me peace of mind. She is also Catholic, which helps because I want to incorporate my faith into the labor - I think it will help me deal with everything.

I am excited that the time is drawing ever nearer (October 25th) ... because I want to hold my baby in my arms, but let's be realistic - its also because I am sick of summer and cannot wait for the cool weather to arrive.

What? I'm keepin' it real.

What Am I Teaching Them??

2011-09-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of slices of our life today. Judge accordingly.

Ivy: Mom, I want a bug vacuum for Christmas.
Me: Ok, maybe we can do that.
Ivy: But I want a kid size one, not a big one. I want to catch bugs.
Me: Ok that's fine. But you know, you have to let the bugs go when you are done studying them.
Ivy: Why?
Me: Because you can't keep them, they like to be outside. If you keep them in there they'll die.
Violet (suddenly interested): Like Abuelita? She died, right?
Me: Yes... she did.
Ivy: So is that what happened to Abuelita? Did someone not let her out of a container?

***

Ivy is curious about the Civil War. She has been asking a lot of questions about it because we have several Civil War history books with old pictures and illustrations. She has been asking for days about what the different pictures mean. Today she asked me about the people fighting and I explained it as simply as I could.

She decided it would be fun to make Violet play Civil War with her. She was going to be the North and she was going to make Violet be the South. She pretended to "shoot" Violet using a flashlight (turning the light on was the shooting), but Violet was not cooperating by falling dead. So Ivy changed the game and went into this scenario:

Ivy: Hey, you wanna be a slave?
Violet (enthusiastically): Yeah, I do!
Ivy: You have to get a basket and pick cotton. And then you have to come over here, we have to give away your children.
Me (trying to redirect them): Ivy, can you please help Violet get dressed, we need to leave for my doctor's appointment.
Knowing they like to play mommy and baby, I add: Go dress your "baby", Ivy!
Ivy (stage whispering): I'm just going to dress her and then I'll give her away.
Ivy proceeds to dress Violet, who is resisting, and says: I'm sorry, but being a slave is hard!
Violet: You have to drag me.
Ivy (cheerfully): There! I'm ready to sell my girl.

It may or may not be time to put some of our books on the higher shelves.

***

Violet: If I find a cockwoach that's cute, I'll pick him and give him a kiss. Then I can share my cookies with him, because I think cockwoaches like cookies. Then we can cuddle, and he can sleep in my bed.

Good luck finding a cute cucaracha, kid.

My Parents Are Made of Gold

2011-08-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

My parents are made of gold. And you know how precious gold is these days, right? So you can imagine how precious the two of them are, seeing as how they are well over a valuable few ounces in weight.

They are in town this weekend and are allowing me to completely take advantage of them. One of the special joys in my life is when they come for a visit so that I can completely abrogate my parental responsibilities and make them raise my kids. At least for the weekend.

And what am I doing while they feed, clean up, and entertains my kids?

Nothing.

Seriously, nothing. I might be sitting on the couch while my mom reads to them. One of my girls has to go potty. Instead of getting up and helping them I just call out to my mom from my cozy little spot on the couch, "Maaaa? Can you help herrrr?" And she totally does.

Or maybe I want to go run errands. "Mom, I'll be right back I have to run some errands. It'll take me an hour, max." And I breeze out the door for the next three hours.

And the best part about it is that my mom and dad don't seem to mind at all, not in the slightest. They actually enjoy it. My dad will play with them for hours on end, telling them the same jokes over and over again which they never get tired of hearing.

Sometimes if I become concerned that I am taking too much advantage of them, I check in with a concerned, "Oh, sorry, would you mind? Is it ok?" And my mom will sarcastically respond, "Its suuuuuch dreadful sacrifice, arghhh...." And then she'll give me an impish smile.

Even though it isn't Mother's Day, Father's Day, or Grandparent's Day (wait, is there such a thing?), I have to point out how awesome moms and dads are, especially when they are also grandparents who will spend their entire weekend doing nice things for me so I can get a break.

We may no longer be a moocher in our late teens, but yet when it comes to our parents we all find ways to rediscover the mooch in us. How do you still take advantage of your parents? Don't leave me hanging, because if you say I am the only one taking advantage of my parents then I will know you lie and it will be awkward between us.

Chore Chart Drawings - The Next Set

2011-08-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Here is the next set of my chore chart drawings. Here is the first set. Today's set includes mostly mommy and daddy chores.

Here is daddy taking out the trash - it's my fave one so far.

He likes to relax in this outfit when he gets home from work.

And here is a sheet for the rest of them. For the mom/dad chores they are more obvious and plus I know how to read, so the depictions for us are minimal and some have words. The chores are: Menu planning, sweep kitchen, do laundry, wash dishes, set the table (kid chore), and the upper right picture is "pick up after yourself when you get home from work" (dad chore).

If you are making your own chore chart like me, I suggest printing them on a pretty color, laminating them and using velcro to stick them to your poster board chart. Since my kids cannot read yet, I am putting a picture of each family member at the top of the poster board, and the pertaining chores go under the picture of each child or family member. When the kids are done they can take off the cards and put them in a wall-mounted envelope or basket or wherever is easiest for them to reach. I hope these will be as useful to you as they are to me!

Because I Love You

2011-08-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

I have been looking online for some free clip art depicting girls doing chores so that I could make my own chore chart. Part of starting the homeschooling next week also involves other really ambitious things like starting the girls on a set of specific chores and running our days on a schedule (ha!).

But I could not find any clip art that I liked, so I decided just to draw my own stuff and hope for the best. And because I love you all I am going to post it on here so you can download it for free. I am not done yet, I still have other chores to draw, like setting the table and things like that. If I get favorable comments (or any comments at all for that matter, since I think mostly everyone has given up on me by now because of my lack of posting) then I will also post the rest when I am done. These are all princess themed because I have 2 girls and one on the way, so why even pretend to be neutral!

Here is a princess for the task of making your bed:

And here she is picking up the toys:

If you want these as well as the rest which include cleaning your room, brushing teeth, praying (you decide if that's morning or nighttime prayers), and dusting, here they are. Just right click and save as to your desktop - you can print them on an 8.5 x 11 paper. They are each 3.5 x 3.5 inches.

Fetch Me My Fainting Couch

2011-08-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

Do you hear that sputtering sound? That is the sound of my engine running out of energy and fizzling out. I am not talking about my car. I am talking about my body. And how it is not yet 10am and I am already done.

Last night I woke up at 5am to use the bathroom for the 4th time, and when I got back to bed I simply could not fall back asleep. My brain got to thinking (stupid brain, of all the nerve!) about the things I have to get done this week. For those of you who only know me for pretends on this blog and not for reals, I should tell you that I am going to be homeschooling Ivy starting on August 29th.

So I have been busily putting together all my supplies and writing a basic Spanish and a basic Music curriculum to supplement the Catholic Heritage curriculum I already bought. I am sure there must be something out there for young kids in those topics, but since she already understands Spanish and is really flighty about Music, I figured I would just start her off where she needs to be and then find a curriculum along the way that fits her level.

The point is, 5am. Brain. Thinking. About homeschool. By the time I fell asleep again, Violet came to pinch me awake. She likes that, the pinching. She was a lobster in her past life. Or a pair of really stunning designer shoes. One of the two.

And now even though it is still early and I have a VERY full day ahead of me, I would very much enjoy a good fainting. Except there is no one here to provide smelling salts and to fan me and give me sips of water while putting a cool compress on my forehead. I want a T-shirt that says "Fetch me my fainting couch"... I saw that online while looking for this image here. Actually, I have always wanted a fainting couch. Make a note of it, family and friends.

How do you get past the energy dips in your life when you really have no choice but to press on? Caffeine is not an answer, that is cheating. Someone please help me.

New Pizza at Chuck E. Cheese

2011-08-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

I received an invitation to review Chuck E. Cheese's new pizza... they completely revamped it for the first time in like 30 years. When was the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Before this year, the last time I had been to one was when I was a kid. And that was a long, long time ago.

What do you remember of this place when you were a kid? I remember a dark, dirty interior with creepy animatronic animals(?) or puppets whose eyes went CLICK CLICK when they blinked loudly during their song performances. Even as a kid I was not much of a fan of the place. So when I had kids, I stayed away. Finally, a friend invited me to a play date there and I decided to just go for it since it had literally been decades since I had been to one.

I was so pleasantly surprised to find that they were bright, clean, and the animatronics had been replaced with movie screens and only one animatronic Chuck, who didn't seem to click quite as loudly as he used to.

The games and rides were lots of fun for my kids, the staff was friendly, and the whole experience was far better than what I recalled. And now, there was a brand new pizza to try.

So what is the verdict on this brand new pizza?

DELISH.

It's as good as any restaurant quality pizza, and definitely better than take out pizza - less salt and grease, and much more flavor. In fact, it was so good that we ended up ordering another one, which we also devoured very shortly.

The bottom line is this - you could go to a sit down restaurant and have a pizza while your kids squirm and try to sneak out of their seats, or you can go to Chuck E. Cheese for fantastic pizza while your kids have a blast and you sit back and relax. It's kind of a no brainer.

The Carousel at Green Valley Ranch

2011-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

I thought you would all appreciate knowing that the Carousel at the District in Green Valley Ranch is FREE for the rest of the summer (probably until Labor Day)! It used to be $2 per ride.

Also, on movie nights there is free popcorn. Woot!

Conversations with a 4 Year Old

2011-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Ivy: How old awe you, Mom?
Me: 34.
Ivy: Soon yo' going to die.
Me: What?!?
Ivy (matter-of-factly): Soon yo' going to die, I guess.
Me: No, I'm not! Why??
Ivy: Because yo' 34. That's old.
Me: Um, its not that old. Abuelita didn't die til she was 100.
Ivy: Dad is old too. He's 35. He's an old man.
Me: Yeah, well, we aren't going to die yet.

Sheesh.

Let's Play Good Idea/Bad Idea!

2011-07-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

Good Idea: Hitting a piñata at a birthday party.

Bad Idea: Trying on the broken piñata head in the presence of the same children who destroyed it.

Run Plus Fun

2011-07-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

I took the girls to Run Plus Fun in Henderson this week, which is an indoor playground, kind of like Child's Play.

The whole thing is set up on three levels where kids can run through at full speed. No worries on the children getting hurt as they come around corners though, because everything is padded. Like an insane asylum. Not that I have ever been in an insane asylum (Yes you have. No I haven't. Yes you have. No I haven't. Shut up! Shut up!). It's what I imagine an asylum would be like.

There is also an area for infants and small children, and a snack area with tables.

It costs $8 per child, and everyone has to wear socks - even the adults, otherwise you will have to buy some of the socks they sell there.

Here are the girls, all excited and ready for some running and funning.

There is a pit full of yellow and green balls, and kids can go down a slide and land right in the middle

Upside down lollipops

Is it just me or does this look like a hamster cage?

Here are some fun slides, they go pretty fast but even little kids love it.

These air cannons shoot light weight balls. Yes, I got hit. A lot. But it didn't hurt.

And here is the comfy mom couch, which is configured so you can watch little toddlers in the small kids area.

Overall, I really liked this place. It was very clean and comfortable, and the fact that the kids can run at full speed across the various levels is a big plus when you are trying to get them tired out. The downside was the price. At $8 per child its fine if you have an only child. But just FYI: $8+$8=$16. And $16 dollars is a lot of money for one measly morning of fun. This is good for a special occasion or an occasional splurge, but definitely not as a weekly activity. I give Run Plus Fun:

Where Have All the Muppets Gone?

2011-07-12T16:21:00.000-07:00

Hey, remember when I used actually go places? And review them? Remember when I would totally write about fun places for moms and babies to go in this town instead of relying on my other blogger friends like De Su Mama to review places for me? Do you remember my Muppet Rating System? If you don't remember, here it is again.

I was visiting another Vegas mom blog with a name very similar to mine and she sure has it together, with a little calendar of local events and everything. I'm not going to tell you what that blog is though, because I am jealous and I think if I tell you then you will leave me for another blogger. Especially one who updates her calendar regularly. There is only room for ONE fabulous "Las Vegas Mama" in this town, thanks.

So here you are, and here you will stay. You and I will be happy here...together...forever. But not in a creepy way where after you die I keep your body dressed in your wedding outfit and prop you up on the couch and pretend to have tea with you. It will be more in the way that you stop following all other blogs and you only read this one. And you check daily, sometimes hourly, to see if I have updated it. Maybe you click the refresh button obsessively a few times. And you always comment because you know I live for your comments.

The truth is that I actually have two places I want to review (where I've already visited), I just haven't bothered to write it up. Of course, in reality I am pretty sure every mom in town already knows about these places and has been there numerous times. This is yet another sign that I am losing my edge. It just goes to show how far I have fallen. I also have two more places/events that I am going to attend in the next two weeks. If you are patient with me, I promise I will get them up so that you can read about something other than my pickled baby.

Tivoli Village

2011-07-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

Seeing as how I am a major slacker these days about posting, I am going to give you a special treat. A double treat. Not only do you actually get to read something on this blog, you are also going to get to meet my new Las Vegas blogger friend Vanessa from De Su Mama, who wrote this guest post. And you get a review for somewhere new, which I have not done in forever. And that is not even hyperbole, it really has been forever. Like, literally. And if you don't beleive in forever just try and remember how it used to take for the bell to ring and let you out of your high school geometry class. Am I right? It was forever.

After you read this post, head over to her blog, give her a "follow", and enjoy her amazing photography skills. And don't forget to give her some comment love!

**********

Tivoli Village

For the last few years, as you drive down Fort Apache where it turns into Rampart, you would see a large stretch of land slowly being developed into what appeared to be an exquisite Italian resort. It took some years, but Tivoli Village is finally open to our community!

Slow development is nothing new for Las Vegas. My Step Mom used to joke that the State bird was the crane {as in construction crane} because of how often one could be seen in the horizon. But since the real estate bubble popped all over us, the unofficial State bird has gone extinct. Now deserted wastelands of semi-built carcases are found all over the valley. It's kind of sad, really.

Luckily for us, especially those of us on the West side of the Valley, Tivoli made it through to see a grand opening. The West side really needed something like this, and although the development is not 100% open, it is still a welcome source of entertainment for us. My Husband actually attended the grand opening for work. The Mayor and media were there, and my Husband just couldn't stop raving about how beautifully made and designed the property was.

Tivoli is anchored by the intersection of two pedestrian-only cobblestone streets, which are lined with up-scale, chic vendors {or will be soon; they aren't 100% open as of this posting}. At the corners sit two restaurants with outdoor, cafe-like seating; the kind you find in Europe. On the particular evening we visited, there was a band set up in the center of the intersection. They also had street performers walking around that really elevated the experience to different heights. Diners can sit outside and listen to music, while other visitors stop to watch for a bit before continuing their stroll. Or, you can just get out there and dance like our little music lover did! I really felt as though I was in a European town, enjoying a summer festival.

Tivoli's calendar is packed with family friendly events that I look forward to attending, such as weekly Saturday morning farmer's markets by fresh52, pet adoption events, outdoor concerts featuring local talent and so much more! In addition to checking out their website, I highly recommend you "like" their Facebook page. Every week they post their weekend's scheduled of events. I find this extremely helpful in planning out our weekend.

Las Vegas is known for the glitz and glam of the Strip, and indeed it is the center of this city. But for those of us that call this place home, developments like Tivoli, which are free of the constant noise of gambling machines and bright lights, is a wonderful alternative.

Tivoli is my family's new Las Vegas hang out! We love it! For so many reasons. If you live in Vegas, or are visiting and want to see our latest and greatest, check out Queensridge's new development situated about 11 miles West of the Strip, near the master planned community of Summerlin. You will likely see this little Daddy's girl walking around...

Vanessa is Cuban American, married to her handsome African American husband, and mother to their beautiful daughter, Alina. Vanessa explores issues of personal identity, the complexities of raising a bicultural/biracial child and the impact it has on her womanhood. Vanessa is passionate about photography and capturing Alina's every move. Vanessa blogs at www.desumama.com. Of living in Las Vegas, she says, "I love living in Vegas because of the diverse people you come across in your everyday life. Vegas attracts people from all over the country! From conservative to liberal, black, white and every shade in between, Vegas has it all!"

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate the day we gained independence from England by trying to blow up America. Let freedom ring, yee haw!!! Happy 4th of July!

Love our tiny hats. I mean that in the imperative.

Why I Love Las Vegas

2011-06-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I had the privilege of hanging out most of the day at a poolside cabana at Vdara. It was about 115 degrees outside, but with fans, misters and a private dipping pool for those in the cabanas, it was pretty fantastic. It's on days like this that I suddenly remember that living in Las Vegas has its perks.

The day was arranged to celebrate the birthday of my good friend Naomi, but it may as well have been my birthday, because that is how much I enjoyed myself. Naomi used to be a Christina Aguilera impersonator before she had kids, but she is an incredible singer in her own right. She is one of those women who can wear a bikini top and chaps until they are 5 months pregnant. Which she actually, really, truly did while she was pregnant with her first baby and was still working as an impersonator.

Shout out, Naomi! Happy birthday!

I would post a pic of my chums and I on the day of, but I haven't gotten the pics from my friend Jess, who managed to get all the non-boring shots ... I'll update when I get them!

Over against the back are the private cabanas we stayed in:

This is the pool for people like me who put on too many airs to use the pool that everyone else uses:

We ordered drinks and a tapas-style lunch, which was DELISH. After lunch, champagne and chocolate covered strawberries were sent down to us, soon followed by ice cream. But the best part was the completely decadent strawberry and vanilla cream birthday cake with Naomi's name written on a towering piece of chocolate and sprinkled with gold bits. I am sure there is a fancy name for a cake like that, but I don't know what it is. So I am going to call it the Mouthwatering Strawberry Gold Bits Cake With Specks of Vanilla Beans in the Cream And Everything.

You would expect the food to be amazing quality, and it did not disappoint considering the menu was the creation of Chef Martin Heierling, who is the Executive Chef at Vdara.

This was the view from our cabana:

I loved the big screen tv in the cabana, and the fact that the amenities included water bottles, soda, snacks and this really cool water spritzer thingy - excuse me, I mean "oxygenated water atomizer". It smelled faintly of eucalyptus and money. I didn't discover the water spritzer until it was almost time to leave. I was so enamored of it I had to take it with me.

Is that low-brow and cheap? Well, that is because I am the descendant of Castillians and I grew up in East LA. Anyone who knows about Castillians or East LA knows what I am talking about. It's a deadly combination. I frequently do things like make sun quesadillas instead of Sun Tea and refer to helicopters as Ghetto Birds. So this kind of behavior is to be expected, really.

But here, I took a picture of it against the backdrop of my expensive Kate Spade purse so I can pretend that it is cool to snag "atomizers" out of private pool cabanas.

How to Hold a Backyard Campout

2011-06-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

Today was our Sid the Science Kid Backyard Campout. Since the friends we invited over to hang out with us all have kids that are too small to do a real overnight campout, we decided to make an afternoon of it and after they left, we would sleep outside in the tent on our own.

It is now that time... the kids are in their jammies, 'Smores galore have been eaten, and we are all ready to rough it tonight. Here are the deets from our daytime campout!

First we watched the new Sid episode, "Sid's Backyard Campout", and thus inspired, we all went outside to have fun.

Here is Violet, ready to rough it in our paved backyard wilderness.


We all made Reese's 'Smores, which means we substituted Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for the chocolate, and I have to say it was FANTASTIC.

NOM NOM.....


Since we do live in the desert and this is Vegas, there may or may not have also been a dead body involved.


After the 'Smores, I passed out Nature Journals and a pencil to all the kids (I used Composition notebooks, $1 ea. at Target). Then we went on a Nature Scavenger Hunt!


First on the scavenger hunt was to look for 3 different kinds of insects and draw them in our journals.

The next task was to find different kinds of animals and draw the ones you found. The bad news: no one found a desert kangaroo. The good news: No one found a scorpion, either.


The final task on our Nature Scavenger Hunt was to observe a flower or leaf and draw it in the journal, leaving it untouched in its habitat, just as Sid tells us to do.

Here is Violet, post-'Smores, drawing in her nature journal in the tent.

The whole thing was so much fun, and the kids were totally into the scavenger hunt.

Be sure to watch tomorrow's episode at 11am on Vegas PBS and plan your own easy, fun backyard campout. I promise your kids will love it, and all it requires from you is: 1) 'Smores, 2) a Nature Scavenger Hunt, and the optional #3) a tent!

Here are the details on the new Sid episode:

Premier episode: June 20th at 11AM on Vegas PBS 10 and 710 Cox Cable 10.1
Encore broadcasts: June 24th, July 12th, July 27th and August 19th.

New Episode: Sid the Science Kid

2011-06-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

I am sure your kids have all seen Sid the Science Kid on PBS by now. If they haven't, well, I find that odd since even my kids have seen and loved it, and they don't watch TV much these days.

I wanted to give you the heads up that there is going to be a new episode airing on Vegas PBS this Monday. It's called "Sid's Backyard Campout". I was invited to hold my own backyard campout and to blog about it, which sounded like so much fun I simply could not pass it up.

So this weekend I am having a backyard camp out of my own for my kids and some of their friends. I'll be posting pictures on Sunday of how it all went, and I just have one thing to say to you: 'Smores.

I know, its hot. But 'Smores defy all seasons, frankly. And if you do not agree then you are probably un-American. You are probably one of "those people" who complain about too much salt in our diets. Besides, I could even skip making a fire and just roast the 'mallows on the pavement.

So check back Sunday night for pictures of our campout shenanigans for ideas in case you want to hold out a backyard campout of your own. Which I don't see why you wouldn't, considering how easy and fun it would be and how much your kids would love you for it!

Here are the details of the episode's air times:

Premier episode: June 20th at 11AM on Vegas PBS 10 and 710 Cox Cable 10.1
Encore broadcasts: June 24th, July 12th, July 27th and August 19th.

I Pickled My Baby

2011-06-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

I went to a picnic yesterday afternoon, and I unwisely brought potato chips to share. And I also unwisely brought the remains of those chips home. And I stupidly just ate the rest of the bag.

And I think I might have pickled my baby.

Do any of you know much salt does it take to pickle a baby in utero? If you do, please tell me.

I have been craving salt lately, but when I mentioned it to my OB last time he said I needed to be careful because Americans already have high-salt diets. But here's the thing - why are people always complaining about Americans having a high salt diet? Other people in other countries also consume a lot of salt and no one criticizes them for it. Its unfair. Americans are not the only people in the world who enjoy salt.

Take Argentina, for example. According to this article, Argentines eat way too much salt. But you never hear people complaining about their salt consumption. When was the last time you heard anyone purse their lips in disapproval and growl, "Those Argentines need to cut back on their salt!"

Who are these America-haters that complain about our saltiness, anyway? Last time I checked, saltiness was a good thing. Just ask any pirate if he likes a salty wench. 9 times out of ten he will say "Arrrgh", which means "Most assuredly, yes!"And the 10th pirate would have said yes too if he could hear you, but sadly he was deafened by a canon blast and could not hear the question. This makes him sad and depressed, but at least he has a parrot to be his ears and his voice, although the parrot can only say strange and discomfiting things like, "I see England, I see France, I see Bob's underpants!" And then you are like, "Who is Bob, and why is this parrot privy to what his underpants look like?"

The point is that I think salt is a good thing. It makes food taste yummy. And I am sure it makes the baby's amniotic fluid nice and flavorful. But I am a little concerned that I might have actually gone a little too far and inadvertently pickled her.

11 Year Old Grown Ups

2011-06-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

I went to the mall today for lunch, because my cupboards are looking rather bare and the things I do have I cannot eat due to the fact that carbs make my blood sugar spike. I could have gone to the grocery store to stock up on real food but that makes far too much sense and is too practical. I will leave it to the June Cleaver sorts to do smart things like grocery shop.

So off the to mall we went, to get irresponsible food for the kids responsible food for me. FYI, I am still hungry. And now I am home again with carbs staring at me in the face. I'm not going to lie, it hurts a little.

Anyway, the point in telling you all this is that I want to make a comment on all those pre-teen girls at the mall, the ones wearing mini-skirts and high heels. What is up with that???

I found myself zoning out on someone's feet, which were clad in wedge heels. Those are cute shoes, I thought to myself. Being a girl and all, and having interest in fashionable things on occasion, I decided to aim the eyeballs upwards to see what outfit one pairs with those shoes. My eyes traveled up the person's bony legs, and saw a fashionable but very short skirt and tank top. But something seemed off. The body type was far too thin and small to be a grown woman. My eyes made it all the way up to the face of the owner of those shoes, and I was shocked to see that the owner of the shoes and mini skirt was an 11 year old girl.

As we walked through the mall, I began noticing more and more of these types. Young girls, many of whom have either not yet hit puberty or were in the first dawn of it, and carrying Victoria's Secret shopping bags.

Why?? Why. These are children. And they are dressing and acting like they are grown ups. What has happened to our society? There are many things I could complain about in regards to our society, but right now I am just going to focus on this one little aspect. Wait, let me climb up onto my soap box for a sec before I launch into this. Ok, here goes.

It says something pretty sad about us as a whole when our children are dressing like adults. Not even just adults - like skanky adults. They wear outfits meant to reveal their bodies for the visual consumption of men. High heels to lengthen their legs and force their bust and their bums to stick out unnaturally. Short skirts to invite to the eye to travel upwards. Tight shirts to reveal what? Bony A-cup chests? And let me just ask - what can these young girls possibly need Victoria's Secret underwear for?? Who is going to see it, anyway? The answer to that is what worries me.

The whole idea of these young girls dressing and acting like sexualized adults has me completely disgusted. They are being indoctrinated by our society to treat their bodies like something entirely common, to be adorned and put on display. To what purpose? Well, follow it to its natural conclusion and you can see that the purpose is to attract men. I would ask where these girls' fathers are, but I actually passed by one bony little child in high heels and a mini skirt who was walking alongside her father.

Maybe some of my readers have children of this age who dress like that. And if you do, please tell me why you allow it. Don't you worry about inappropriate attention from older men? If you buy your daughter Victoria's Secret underwear, can you tell me what purpose that ultimately serves? And don't tell me its confidence building or that it helps with self-esteem, because I am not buying it. Learning to play sports or how to play an instrument builds self-confidence. Beauty and youth are fleeting - so I hope you are not going to tell me that you are pinning your child's self-worth on something that is going to fade. Besides, you can dress very nicely and fashionably without revealing just about every inch of your body.

Maybe I am more sensitive to the darker side of human nature because I live in Sin City and all... but I really cannot think what positive purpose it would serve to allow your daughter to dress in skimpy grown up clothes. Someone enlighten me... please.

This is About Feet (Mostly)

2011-06-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

One of the things about being pregnant is that you have to go to a lot of appointments for stuff - doctors, labs, ultrasounds, etc. etc. And when you already have two other small children to wrangle and out the door, coupled with pregnancy brain, some things just go by the wayside. Let's take today for example.

I fed the kids. I clothed them. I got their shoes on. I grabbed my purse, and since we were already running late, I hustled them out of the house: "Move, move move! Come on, let's go! We're late! Out the door, now!" I quickly closed the front door and turned my key to lock it. But suddenly something seemed wrong. What was I forgetting? Keys, check. Children, check. Cell phone, check.

I looked down, past my watermelon belly, and stuck out one foot to get a better look. Sure enough, there was the problem. I had forgotten to put shoes on.

In my defense, our shoes are right by the front door so I never put them on until we are literally walking out the door. But still, I was surprised that I could forget something so basic as shoes. Who ever forgets to put on shoes?? Apparently I do.

I opened the door again and stuck my feet into some flip flops, and we were on our way to the ultrasound appointment.

You will be glad to know that the baby is looking just fine and healthy, and is still kicking a whole lot. Which means I still have to stand by my earlier assertion about the baby being a match for Chuck Norris.

And now that we have body part measurements, it has been revealed to me by the ultrasound tech that my baby has huge feet. How huge? One and a half inches long.

I know. Big foot, right?

Well alright, admittedly that does sound tiny. But she was telling me that most babies at this gestational age have feet that are only one inch long. Either way, can you just picture that?? A tiny little one and a half inch long foot???? It melts my heart just to think of it. That's a only little longer than a small paper clip! And that is powerful cute.

Oh, and P.S. I should probably also tell you the following:

Happy Memorial Day from Violet

2011-05-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

You cannot hear her, but she is saying "God bless America and all our courageous veterans who gave their lives so I can grow up in freedom!!!"

I Was Not Raptured

2011-05-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have been more than a little lax in my postings lately. I still insist upon my pregnancy excuse. I also insist everyone who reads this blog be understanding and love me anyway, and still come to my blog and re-read everything I ever wrote, because I am hilarious and entertaining. And who would not want to re-read everything I write anyway?

That said, I wanted to check in and let everyone know that I was not raptured at the appointed time. Granted, neither was anyone else. But since I am extra uber special, I figured I should personally let everyone know that I was, in fact, not raptured either.

So, what's new with me, you ask? Other than my continually expanding belly (to the point where people look shocked when I say I am not due until October), not much is new - which explains my lack of new posts.

I will, however, tell you that I'm finding out whether Number 3 is a boy or girl just one week from today. This is exciting news for many reasons, not the least of which is that I get to finally start narrowing down the name selection.

So far for a girl I am thinking either Helga, Petunia (matches Ivy and Violet), Bambi, or Gretchen (was there a Garbage Pail Kid in the 80's called Retchin' Gretchen??) ... Oh yeah, there was - here it is:

And for a boy, how about: Bob, Cornelius, Basil (again, plant theme!), Barnabas, or Angus.
Or Macgyver. I'm just sayin'.

What say you?

San Diego Zoo Comes to Las Vegas

2011-05-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow from 3pm to 4pm there will be an ambassador of the San Diego Zoo in Las Vegas, along with some wild animals that will be brought along for the ride. Drop by and see a baby Cheetah, a Caracal cat, a Serval, and a Military Macaw. I cannot guarantee that you will be able to grab the large cats by the tail like I did a while back, but I am pretty sure the kids will love seeing these animals close up, and the best part is that it's free!

They will be coming to the AAA office in Henderson at 1000 N Green Valley Pkwy, Ste 620.

From the press release:

On Wednesday, May 11^th, you won’t have to leave the city to experience a taste of a world-class safari adventure. The San Diego Zoo Safari Park will continue their U.S. tour in Las Vegas, offering a sneak peek of this travel destination, home to more than 2,000 animals that roam freely in the 1,800 acre park.

Just 30 miles north of downtown San Diego, the Safari Park offers families an affordable alternative to a trip to Asia or Africa and the opportunity to experience a real safari adventure first-hand. Visitors can experience the Safari Park by tram, photo-caravan, Segway or Flightline and at the same time, be up close and personal with giraffes, rhinoceros, lions and others in their natural habitat. Particularly exciting this summer is the chance to experience Cheetah Run where visitors can see firsthand the speed and wonder of this majestic animal.

Safari Park ambassadors including Rick Schwartz and the true stars of Safari Park – Kiburi, a baby Cheetah, Kasten, a Caracal cat, Bella the Serval also known as the “giraffe cat” and Mango the Military Macaw will be storming Las Vegas on Wednesday, May 11.

Socks are My Enemy

2011-05-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

I want to know what the deal is with socks. I am talking about tiny kid-sized socks, and how they seem to mysteriously migrate all over the house, usually without their mate.

How do they get into those strange places? I have found socks (or should I say a sock) under beds, in toy boxes, in dress up purses, in shoe boxes, on the kitchen table, balled up in my purse, in the pots and pans, and in my bed under the covers like it had been tucked in for the night. This happens even after I confiscated all socks from the children and put them in a drawer they could not reach.

And how is it that they are separated from their mate, and their mate can never, ever be found? Loads of laundry can be washed and dried, and there will be no sign of the sock's mate for months. Then one day, the missing sock will turn up somewhere - totally innocently as though it had been there all along.

I am starting to see a sock conspiracy by sock-making companies to force you to buy more socks. I am starting to think that kid socks they are actually robo-socks. They are implanted with tiny little microchips and tiny little robo-legs that help them move about and avoid detection like creepy, colorful spiders. Ew.

Now I am going to have to turn corners warily at night if its dark, for fear of encountering a creepy robo-sock. I am pretty sure this is the most logical explanation as to where they are all going.

"It" Was Bound to Happen

2011-05-03T08:21:00.000-07:00

"It" happens to every toddler, eventually. I guess I just didn't expect "it" from my well-behaved 4 year old. Eventually, every kid who knows how to weild a pair of scissors gets the brilliant idea that they should give themselves a haircut.

Yesterday, while I was being Mother of the Year (again), i.e., napping (it was only 10 minutes, I swear!!) Ivy took the scissors and CHOP CHOP CHOP. She came running into the room, eyes gleaming with excitement. "Do you even recognize me, Mom???"

"Of course I recognize you... why?"

"Because, I cut my hair!"

"What?!?" I rubbed my bleary eyes and noticed that she had indeed cut her bangs.

"Why would you do that??"

"My hair was in my eyes."

"Well the why didn't you get a hair clip???"

She had no answer.

Actually, I wasn't mad - she did a fantastic job of it, and I think she may be a future hair dresser. When I saw the chunks of hair in the trash can I wanted to laugh. Even though she may have cut her own hair, leave it to her to clean up after herself.

Fortunately, it wasn't like this:

It was more like this:

Except less Asian, natch.

One thing did seem particularly odd to me though... pieces of tape stuck to some of the chunks of hair. I found out later that it was because she tried to tape her hair back on, but she was disappointed to find that it just didn't stick!

Tragedy Strikes

2011-04-25T19:26:00.000-07:00

So my dog Princess, the one that hates me, has been particularly odious to me since I have been pregnant. She smells awful to my sensitive pregnant nose, and she just generally disgusts and revolts me in a way that is quite surprising.

I wanted send her to live with a friend of mine until I have the baby and I regain my emotional self-control. But then tragedy struck.

Phillip accidentally stepped on her paw (because she likes to be in the way and trip people up whenever possible, and she will strategize about how to be in the most inconvenient place possible). She yelped, which she never does even when we do accidentally trip over her or step on a paw. And when he tried to check her out she positively yowled and tried to bite him (a major, unbelievable, incredible, stunning departure of character for this dog, who never EVER bites -she will barely bite her own dog food).

She could not put weight on it and limped, so obviously something was very wrong. We spent 3 hours at the animal hospital (apparently the ER conspiracy to make you waste the maximum amount of time extends to animal hospitals) and found that not only does she have a dislocated hip due to a defective hip socket she also happened to have an infection in her uterus in the very early stages. $500 later we knew we would have to pay for two different surgeries to fix her.

And guess how much that is estimated to cost?

$2,000.

That is a whole lot of spare change. More spare change than I have at the moment, considering I still have to pay for my baby to be born at a hospital (yeah, my insurance sucks). So the other option would be to send her to "a farm" to run around grassy fields to play with the other dogs... forever.

Instead, I opted for option #3 which is to post her on Craigslist, explain that she is a great family dog but that she has about $2,000 in medical expenses and see if someone would bite. Within the hour, someone had bitten. Whew!

So we have given her away now, and I think she is in good hands. She went to a family with 5 children, and they are obviously knowledgeable about dogs and care a great deal about pets. I believe his exact words were, "I know it will be $2,000 but she's worth it."

Sure, whatever. Peace out, dog.

Let's take a moment to remember her.

Sigh....The truth is if I actually had the money I would have paid it to make her well. Ivy's meltdown when we told her she was going to a new home was heartbreaking. She kept petting her and sobbing, "I'll never see you again, Princess! Oh, Princess, Princess!" I myself may possibly have wept a little to see my child so upset, though actually I am neither confirming or denying whether or not I did. I am just saying, maybe.

But this is a good family who will pay beaucoup bucks to keep her well, so I think all is well that ends well. I did the right thing. Right?

POP!

2011-04-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

My belly has popped out, ALREADY. I was expecting it, of course. Even with my first baby, at my thinnest (granted, my thinnest was still like 20 pounds overweight), the very second I was pregnant, my pants fit too tightly. The second pregnancy had me popping out around the same time.

This time around, it took a little longer, probably because I had a little more muscle tone or because I tried to suck in the gut more diligently or because my clothes is of stretchier fabric. But there comes a point when you just can't suck it in and your clothes hide nothing.

My 3 month pregnant belly looks more like a 6 month pregnant belly. Especially right after I have eaten a meal. I am like a boa constrictor that ate a lamb. Or a small goat. By the time I get into my third trimester it will be like I swallowed a cow. Its true, you can see for yourself.

But I really should not complain too much, the truth is that this pregnancy is already worlds easier than the last one. I just started my second trimester this week, and I already feel much better. This is also a departure from the first two times because back then it took until the end of the 4th month for the horror to subside. This time, I didn't even have the first trimester horror. I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

I wonder if this means I am going to have a boy??

The Pregnancy Progresses

2011-04-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

Energy levels are continually dipping... all energy is being consumed by baby.... I have nothing more to say.... except this: I need a nap. And a maid.

I guess I am sending Violet out for groceries today.

Source

You're On Notice, Chuck Norris

2011-04-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

The truth is out. As a dear reader guessed in the comments of my last post, the latest news is that I am indeed pregnant! This explains my patchy posts, as I have been tired out by all that making another human being and stuff. Its the excuse of the century when I neglect my household duties. If my husband complains that he has no clean socks, I fix him with "the look" and tell him, "Today I made our baby's nervous system. What did you do today?" Argument over, I win. And then I tell him I am going to go take a nap and to please watch the girls, make dinner, and throw a load of laundry in because we are all out of clean socks.

Anyway, I went to the doctor yesterday and got my second ultrasound of the pregnancy. The baby is just 11 weeks along, measuring 1.5 inches, and guess what. That baby was kicking and karate chopping like you would not believe. So you are officially on notice, Chuck Norris. You will meet your match in about 6 more months.

The baby also rolled around, flipped over several times, and basically just went to town on the kicking. Baby loves to kick. A lot. Which I am thinking is going to be oodles of fun when he or she runs out of room in there. I'll keep you posted.

Even though I have experienced the miracle of creation twice before, it suddenly dawned on me that this tiny little person, less than 2 inches tall, is already its own person. With its own brain, its own personality, and its own soul. And being my child, most likely with its own jumbo-sized attitude. This is my next Ivy or Violet. Wow.

I love my kids so much, they are so adorable and so fun that I cannot wait to bring their sibling into the world and to get to know this little human being. And to train him or her to be the next martial arts champion of the world.

How to Potty Train

2011-03-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have really been slacking on the blog posts. But I have a reason for that, truly I do.

In fact, I even dropped a hint of it in my last post, but NO ONE noticed! I think I am going to wait a while and see if anyone can come up with a good guess. Not that I blame you for missing the hint, it was subtle.

In the meantime, since the last post and now, I will update you on what else has been going on. I have actually potty trained Violet, and that went so remarkably well that I really could not say anything sarcastic about it. Which is a shame, because you know how much I enjoy my sarcasm. And how sad I get when I cannot take aim and shoot it at people or things like little stinging bullets... pew! pew! pew!

So the very first day Violet was at the potty like a champ. Inside of a week she was completely potty trained. I would like to brag about how fantastic I am, and about how I am the. best. mom. ever. But the truth is that Violet was totally ready. Case in point, I noticed she was going #2, and asked if she would like to try going in her potty. She calmly told me, "No tank you, I'm just gonna go in my diapa'...."

Sweet cheeks, if you can tell me that you are choosing to poo in your diaper, then you are totally ready to poo in the potty. Commence Operation Potty Train Violet. I donned my camouflage house robe, armed myself with stickers, potty charts, and Poopy Presents (cheap little toys wrapped up as gifts to motivate her to poop in the potty), and my Ultimate Secret Weapon, which fascinates little toddlers so much that they cannot wait to use the potty again. Are you ready for it?

This, my friends, is the Potty Dance, and it works like a charm!

The Haul

2011-03-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

I feel accomplished. Specifically, shopping has been accomplished at the As They Grow event, going on this weekend through Sunday.

Do you want to see what I found? Of course you do, don't even pretend you don't care. This is just a small sampling of all the amazing finds.

Beatrix Potter dress, $10. Cuuute!!!


Stride Rite shoes, $2! (Ivy already scuffed them as you can see)

Moses basket, $10!!!!

Adorable 40's-style drop-waist dress, $4.

April Cornell night gown, $7.

Gymboree smocked summer dress, $5.

Cap-sleeve summer dress, $2.

I also got a play oven for $3 and a Snow White, Prince Charming and woodland animal set for $3 that I am too lazy to take pictures of.

I should also tell you that Sunday has a 50% markdown on many items. The things that were already dirt cheaper are now even dirt cheaper. If you have missed the event so far, do NOT miss this last day!

Time for Shopping and Fabulosity

2011-03-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

Guess what?

I am going shopping.

So what?

SO, I am going shopping at the As They Grow event!!

Ah, yes, that takes on new meaning, doesn't it? Did you brave the insanity last year? And by insanity I mean the AWESOMENESS.

Insane = awesome, because it is a known equation that any time you combine extremely low prices with incredibly unique finds (that normally cost way too much money) then you have mom cat fights, skirmishes, and all-out brawls. That is the insane part. But the awesome part is that at the end of it all, everyone still manages to come away with treasures for their child's bedroom or wardrobe.

And I am one of the lucky few to get to shop the Pre-Sale on Wednesday evening. Why? Because I am volunteering my time, my delectable writing skills, and blog coverage. I wrote the inside scoop on shopping and consigning with As They Grow for AOL City's Best, so read it and if you are not shopping the Pre-Sale, then weep.

I'm kidding, please don't cry. Last year I shopped with the general public and I still found numerous treasures, like a brand new Gymboree riding jacket for $7, for example. So even if you get in with the hoi polloi you will still get to be a part of something pretty fabulous.

It has to be experienced to be understood. So I would recommend that every parent in Vegas who reads this blog take a trip down there this weekend to see why I am so excited about the whole thing. Do it.

Do. It.

The only thing you will regret is not going. Trust me.

Resistance is Futile

2011-03-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am resisting the power nap today... resisting.... resisting.... arrrrggghhhh!!!! It hurts!!!

Power Nap

2011-03-09T21:32:00.000-08:00

I took a power nap today. Just FYI, power nap is short for Powerful Nap. Because mine was seriously powerful. I started feeling very sleepy around noon and figured it was Violet's naptime anyway, so I could just lie down with her for a few.

I mentioned to Ivy how tired I was. In all her 4 year old wisdom, she said, "You go ahead and lie down wif Violet. I'll just stay up and play vewy quietly." She sounded so reasonable. Even though I knew she was just trying to avoid a nap of her own, I decided to go for it. I would nap with Violet while my 4 year old played unsupervised. Sounded like a responsible idea, at least in my exhausted mind. Besides, I would only be about 5 or 10 minutes and then I could get up and make her some lunch.

I gratefully laid down with Violet, and as I immediately started drifting into blissful rest, it occurred to me that this was probably not a good idea. What if Ivy wrapped something around her neck and suffocated? What if she tried to eat a snack and choked? What kind of a parent am I, anyway?? All these thoughts came to me as I was drifting off into my Powerful Nap. But I was past the point of no return. The Powerful Nap had me in its inexorable grip. I struggled feebly against it, but this was a black hole of sleepiness from which I could not extricate myself. As I got sucked deeper and deeper into it, the thought crossed my mind that Ivy was actually extremely quiet. Unnaturally quiet. And then, nothing... I was totally asleep and most likely drooling a little.

As time went on and I replenished my energy a little I was able to struggle a little to the surface, but not enough to actually stir in any way. I could not hear Ivy at all. She was probably dead by now. Hm, well then it's too late anyway, my subconscious whispered evilly, no point in waking up now....

I drifted back into the welcoming blackness, who knows for how long, unable to muster up any sort of ability to wake up. Four years of sleep deprivation had finally caught up with me.

Eventually, Ivy came into the room to wake me up. She was alive and well, and apparently very hungry since she had missed lunch while I was busy being a neglectful parent. I glanced at the clock with bleary eyes. An hour had passed. An hour in which my daughter played quietly all on her own without accidentally dying. Thank God. Next time I will think twice about submitting to the urge for a Powerful Nap.

What do you do when you are exhausted beyond all comprehension and you have no one to help with the kids? Do you still try to power nap?

Las Vegas Family Fun for $10 or Less

2011-03-04T21:37:00.000-08:00

The follow up to my article on play dates for $5 or less is family activities for $10 or less, which you can read here at AOL City's Best. Did I forget anything? Leave me a comment and let me know if you have some good suggestions!

Is My Daughter a Sociopath? Part II

2011-03-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

I have been asking myself this question because of her propensity for inflicting pain - you can get the details here.

Truth be told, I have been getting some results lately in trying to get her to stop the madness. I was at my wits end. I applied time outs faithfully, but it didn't seem to be doing much for averting the behavior. I had a talk with my very wise mom, and she advised me not to react emotionally to Violet's violence.

She told me, in her infinite wisdom, to be extremely calm. I had been reacting emotionally and getting angry. Not because I was angry, but because I thought it would make more of an impact if she saw my disapproval very clearly. Apparently not the way to go.

So I started applying time outs as recommended: very even-toned, matter-of-fact, and other words that have dashes in them. And LO! it has been working brilliantly. This, however, is not how I found out the truth about whether Violet is a sociopath. Even sociopaths can change their behavior if they want to, and if it serves their cunning purposes. For all I knew, she was trying to lull me into a false sense of complacency before attacking for real and stringing up the family on a clothes line. I mean, so far, I had never seen her yawn when someone else yawned (a sign of empathy).

But I discovered the truth by one simple method: Dumbo. Say what now? Oh yes, I said DUMBO. Specifically, the scene where the mom is jailed and she tries to stick her trunk out to touch Dumbo. The thing is, the scene is so powerful that I cry every time - because it is just that sad, and Dumbo is illustrated so brilliantly that he really seems like a little child. In case you don't know what I mean, here it is. Get your hanky ready.

So Violet watched this scene, and then came running over to me, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Mom, why Dumbo? Why Mommy? Why jail?" She had actual little tears forming and they were slowly trickling from her eyes. She was...sad. She pantomimed the mom cradling Dumbo on her trunk. "Mommy need her baby!" This wasn't like her usual crying, like when she is upset that she didn't get her way, or like she needs a nap. It was just this trickle of tears leaking from her eyes. And she looked so, so sad. She was...empathizing!

Bingo! And that, my friends, was the moment I knew definitively that Violet was not a sociopath. At this point I am breathing a big sigh of relief. Between the knowledge that she is normal, and my new time out technique, things are seriously turning up roses.

Is My Daughter a Sociopath? Part I

2011-03-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

My darling little daughter, Violet, has always been rather... well, violent, to be honest. Which is ironic, because when she was born, both of my parents objected to the name because it sounded way too close to the word violent (in English and in Spanish).

Sure enough, from the time she had control over her arms, she was violent. She would do something I called a "face tear". From her cozy little spot in my Sleepy Wrap sling she would reach out an arm and making a claw hand she would use her tiny, sharp little baby nails to scratch my face when I least expected it.

She would seem to be snoozing peacefully, begin to stir, and out came the Claw of Death. FACE TEAR!

She would be done nursing, I would sit her up to burp her, and FACE TEAR!

I would nuzzle her soft, fragrant little face in the mornings, pull back a little to gaze lovingly upon her, and BAM. FACE TEAR!

I'm not going to lie, I bled. And it hurt - mostly in my tender little mommy heart, that my own child would hurt me.

And the trend did not stop there. The older she got, the easier it was for her to hurt others. Especially Ivy. And poor Ivy, she is not a fighter. Violet will hit her, scratch her, push her, and bite her - most recently in a major biting incident that left marks and nearly broke through Ivy's skin. Many times the attacks are unprovoked from what I can tell. The biting incident was triggered by Ivy putting away her toys. She wasn't even interacting or fighting with Violet. Violet just takes it upon herself to seek and destroy. And Ivy never, ever fights back. Ever.

Violet just doesn't seem to care. So naturally, I start to think maybe she is a sociopath-in-training. Surely, she would be moving to killing small animals soon, I thought to myself. And then 11-12 years from now when she is a strong and especially conniving teenager, she is totally going to bump me and Phillip off.

How do I fix this? How do I find out if she is really a sociopath??

"...I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Stay tuned for Part II, where I find out the truth about Violet!

Las Vegas Playdates on a Budget

2011-02-24T17:42:00.000-08:00

If you aren't feeling too excited about shelling out upwards of $15 for play date activities, head over to AOL City's Best and read my 4 picks for play dates that are $5 or less. You can read the article here.

My next article will expand the budget just a smidgen, I will cover play dates for $10 or less. So if you have any suggestions you think I need to include on that one, be sure to message me.

I'm Back!

2011-02-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

So we went to LA over the weekend, which was fun. Especially the part where the girls wouldn't stop crying on the drive. That was so relaxing, and I can't wait to do it again. My ears have not bled nearly enough lately, so that was a relief. I wish I could do that every day.

Now, even though it was just a few days, I missed Las Vegas.

I missed the fact that when I blow dry my hair it stays the way I styled it instead of frizzing.

I missed the fact that the air quality is far better, and I missed being able to breathe easily.

I spent those days in LA with a stuffy nose because of my allergies. Within a few hours of arriving back in Vegas, it was completely cleared up.

Still, it was nice to see family and friends again, I had missed everyone.

We went to my nephew's 2nd birthday party, the kids all got to run around outside and eat cupcakes so it was a good day. My favorite part of that day was when Violet saw her dad from afar and went running full speed ahead to throw herself in his arms. Why was it my favorite part? Because - Phillip being the funny guy he is, when she got within arms reach of her dad.....

DENIED!!

He leaped clear over her... man, he got some air on that one!

Don't tell me that isn't the best picture you have seen this week, because I will not believe you. Then it will be all awkward because I know you lied. So just admit it. It rocks.

Reality Strikes

2011-02-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

So, I have to tell you all that I did not end up going to the Grammy's after party. I know, I know, you are disappointed in me. I understand. Maybe I should have gone. But I felt it was going to be too much to travel down there, come back on a Monday and have to leave to go back down on Friday. That would have put us at 16 hours worth of driving time, with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Too much.

I had a back up plan in place to bring you guys all the juicy insider details of a party like that. My sister, Natalia, was going to go for me and then do a guest blog about it. But then life happened. She came down with the flu.

And so here we are, well into the weekday again and I have no glamorous stories to tell. I hope I haven't let you down too much.

I guess will have to come up with some crazy mom story to tell you instead, just to keep the drama alive.

UPDATE: I just got an email from one of the PR people who arranged the event. Wanna know who was there? Tara Reid, the Situation (Jersey Shore), Pauly D, James and Oliver Phelps (Weasley twins from Harry Potter). And THEN, Kanye West, P Diddy, and Justin Bieber tried to get in around 3am but the cops wouldn't let anyone else up the hill to the mansion!!

Daddy-Daughter Valentine's Dance

2011-02-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

So Phillip and Ivy went to a Valentine's Day dance at Black Mountain Rec Center, a dance that celebrates the tender love of a father for his little daughter. I dressed them both in matching pink and brown outfits.

It only sounds strange. I thought that the end result was charming. Don't you?

Phillip said it was really cute to see all those dad on the dance floor, some with several daughters. Ivy thought the music was way too loud, and was too intimidated by the volume to dance much.

"But was it fun?" I asked.

"A little bit fun," she said. "...and a lot of boring."

Awesome.

Should I stay or should I go? Nivea For Men Grammy's Afterparty

2011-02-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

So, as you may have read from previous tweets... I got invited to Nivea For Men's Grammy's afterparty this Sunday.

First of all, WHAT???!!!

Second of all, AWESOME!!!

But here is the thing - it is happening in Los Angeles, as any Grammy's party should. And I am here in Las Vegas. Nivea for Men is arranging a private shuttle to bring the Las Vegas invitees to this Grammy's party blowout. So transportation is taken care of. It's all settled, but something seems to be niggling in the back of my mind.

Hm, what could it be...? Oh yes, I remember now - I HAVE CHILDREN!

That makes it a lot more challenging. Phillip and I would have to travel down with the kids in tow (probably NOT on the party bus), just so I could go to this admittedly glamorous afterparty at a secret Bel Air estate, which will be crawling with industry insiders (it's co-hosted by Steve Riftkind from Universal Music Group), music stars, and who knows what other sorts of fabulousness?

What do you think? Should I stay or should I go??

Ding Dong, the Kid is in Bed!

2011-02-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

At. Last.

Violet is asleep.

I am sitting here with a mug of Mexican hot chocolate, feeling like my head is all floaty and light, like a hot air balloon... and feeling relieved. Today has been one of the most challenging days in recent history. While battling Evil Germ, I have also been battling Fussy Toddler, which as all moms know is one of the most difficult things to do - period.

I had to take Violet to the doctor to get a steroid shot. While we sat in the waiting room, I suddenly felt like I was fading away. The "darkness" started to encroach but I fought it off and took a few deep breaths. Maybe it was the long nights keeping vigil over the girls' breathing, combined with my own illness. But it was touch and go for a while there, and all I could think of was how utterly stupid and inconvenient it would be if I fainted.

Once we were in the exam room I warned the man-nurse that I may not be conscious much longer. "If I pass out, here is my cell phone on this counter top. My husband's number can be found under 'Beast'." Man-nurse laughed at my term for Phillip, but kindly asked if he could turn the AC down or perhaps bring me a sip of Pedialyte. To make a long story short, the cold air and 2 glasses of ice cold water seemed to help. By the time we left I sort of had my head back on my shoulders, so I felt ok about driving. Violet got a shot for her croup, and I am glad that is all the treatment anyone needed. Also, I was super glad I didn't have to drink Pedialyte. Because ew.

After we got home Violet napped, but she awoke in an awful temper. Every 5 minutes had her demanding a popsicle, and if I said no she would throw a fit and wail and flail. It was completely out of character for her. Any little thing was making her cry. She spent the entire rest of the day alternating between crying and pouting. 5 minutes pout, 5 minutes cry. Over and over and over again.

So as you can imagine, I am beyond relieved to have her be soundly asleep. Her breathing has improved, sleep is restoring her and tomorrow is another day.

I will leave you with this image of Violet, from this post. Back then the joke was about her hating water. Today we can take this picture a little more literally. And tomorrow I hope to have my funny, goofy, sweet little doll back.

Texting Does Not Work

2011-02-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

Hello again. Did you miss me?

Ivy and I are sick with some kind of evil germ or virus. Let's say germ, because it just sounds funnier. "Good evening, ladies and germs!" See? Funny. Also, it makes me think of that germ-looking thing on Sponge Bob. Also funny:

So, I know it is evil because it has hit us pretty hard. I am waiting for Phillip and Violet to fall prey to Evil Germ, it is inevitable. Ivy's breathing was not doing too well, and she was running a high fever. So I took her to the doctor (which took 2 hours, thanks a lot Foothill Pediatrics!), and by the time we made our way back home Evil Germ had taken hold of me and I started getting Evil Fever and Evil Chills.

Today was the worst by far, though, because my temp shot up and I had to get into bed and get into the fetal position. Eventually Ivy came looking for me and the sheer thought of having to get up to take care of someone else made me burst into tears. Ivy took the hint and left.

There was NO WAY I was getting out of bed. I was Evil Germ's captive, and I had that syndrome where you start to identify with your captors and try to protect them even though they are hurting you. I was incubating Evil Germ and his Evil Germy Minions, which were surely spreading throughout my poor system.

I didn't want to get out of bed even to get medicine. I weakly texted Phillip, "Need advil. And a tissue." No response. I texted again, "Just the thought of having to get out of bed is making me weep. In a dramatic after school special way, not in an ugly cry housewife kind of way." (It was totally an ugly cry but I didn't want to scare him off.)

Still no response. Where was he? When would it be my turn to be taken care of? I wanted my mommy. I couldn't make myself get up. Eventually Ivy came back in and I begged her to get daddy. He finally came in and brought me medicine. And the moral of the story is? Well, the moral of the story is that you can waste a good 5-7 minutes of your time reading the junk that I post on here. That is 5-7 minutes of your life you will never get back. But I appreciate you reading it anyway (and commenting, hint hint).

Oh, and also, the moral of the story is that you should not text your husband when you need help... you should just yell loudly, which would get a faster response. Also, modern medicine is awesome. The end.

Nivea for Men - Party at the Palms

2011-01-28T11:33:00.000-08:00

So this week I was invited to a party at the Palms. Would you believe I had never set foot in the Palms, even after nearly 7 years of Las Vegas living? True story.

The party was a launch of Nivea for Men's new campaign called "Look Like You Give a Damn". Phillip came with me, since after all he is a man and can appreciate the fact that the party was more manliness-oriented. As for me, I was excited just to have a chance to dress up in something other than my usual uniform of jeans and clogs.

So the party was in the Fantasy Tower's Sky Villa, which has an awesome infinity pool. This one, in fact:

The Sky Villa is really beautiful - 2 stories of luxurious rooms, where they had fun things set up like a golf room, an old-fashioned barber shop (for complimentary man-grooming), cigar lounge and a burlesque/dessert room. But don't you worry, Phillip kept custody of the eyes. He only had eyes for the delectable mini cupcakes anyway, as it should be.

If you follow me on Twitter you saw me post that there was supposed to be a tiger there. If you do not follow me on Twitter yet, you should follow me here. As it turns out there was indeed an actual, live Bengal Tiger there! Even though he was "just" a kitten, he was pretty big. And very, very strong.

See?

This is his trainer, the person who is supposed be controlling the "kitten".

Still, we were determined to get a picture with the tiger. So we decided to intimidate him and show him who was boss. Take that, tiger!

It totally worked, the tiger was tamed. You are welcome, trainer guy.

But then as we were about to walk away I realized we had not really pet the tiger, and when else would I ever get to touch a tiger without being eaten alive? I asked the trainer if I could pet the tiger, and he said to grab the tiger's tail. Being unsure of the proper protocol concerning wild animals, I decided I should listen to the half-gnawed trainer. I put my hand on its tail to pet it.

"No, grab his tail." he instructed me.

I grabbed it.

"Now pull it."

I pulled tentatively, thinking this was surely not a good idea.

"Harder. Yank his tail! Pull it harder!!"

I yanked the tiger's tail. Hard.

The tiger put his ears back and bared his teeth, trying to whip around and attack me. Fortunately the trainer was holding the animal's collar. I jumped back, and said, "Ok! I think we are all done here!" And I scurried away.

That was not kitten-like behavior at all, may I just say. Still, had I known what was about to happen, I totally would have had Phillip snap a photo. Actually, in further retrospect, Phillip should have pulled the tiger's tail, and I should have snapped the photo. That way we could have a memento of his awesome Nivea for Men-inspired manliness, in keeping with the party's Manly Man theme.

So...what do you think, do we "Look like we give a damn"?

Valentine's Day Las Vegas

2011-01-19T10:46:00.000-08:00

Part of what has been keeping me busy and away from all you, my dear blog BFFs, is the writing I have been doing for AOL. I forgot to post these as I went, so here are some of my City's Best Valentine's Day picks for Las Vegas.

First, the Valentine's Day gooey, smoochy, lovey-dovey stuff:

Vegas I-Do's: 5 Perfect Places to Pop the Question

Keep Love Alive: Valentine Gifts For Marrieds

Free Vegas: Date Ideas For Valentine's Day

But let us not forget about our wee ones. Many of these you have already seen me write about here on this blog, and others will be new to you. Check them out, and if you have a suggestion that tops what I have I will be very grateful to hear of new or interesting places!

Fun For the Little Ones: Best Baby Corrals

Kid-Friendly Vegas: Stress-Free Dining For Parents

The Nothing

2011-01-14T19:54:00.000-08:00

Remember in The Neverending Story how "The Nothing" slowly starting creeping into Narnia or wherever it was, and bit by bit this gray, whirling, windy nothingness destroyed everything in its path, almost including the Empress and her ivory tower? (BTW, wasn't the Empress so adorable with her little pearl thingy hanging on her forehead?? For years and years I wanted one of those. Maybe I still do. Just a little.)

The Nothing is consuming my blog right now. I have been busy with stuff but I cannot really think of anything particularly fun or interesting to write about. Maybe my head just isn't in the game the way it used to be. I have also gotten lazy about accepting offers from companies to promote their stuff. I want to do it, I do. But I am having a tough time sitting down and getting it done. Sorry, companies... I am working on it, hang in there!

The point is, don't give up on me, please. I am working on giving the Empress a name so that NeverLand can continue on and the Luck Dragon can live (Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!!!)
LOL ok now that I am thinking about The Neverending Story and googling pictures of it, I am remembering how much I L-O-V-E that movie!! Classic. In every sense of the word. If it had more than one sense. Which I am not really sure if it does. But if it did, then yes- it is classic in every sense of the word.

Among my faves:

Say my name!! 'Bastian, pleeeease!!!

The Luck Dragon. Wait, Posh? What are you doing, get out of my blog!

The oracle. Run, Atreyu!!!! Whew! He makes it past without getting zapped. That was close!

Hellooooo, nurse! 1980's tween crush alert!

Awww, remember this cutie patootie?

"They look like such big, strong, hands...." Tsk, poor Rockbiter!!

Ahhhh....sigh.... what a trip down memory lane.... did you guys all love The Neverending Story when you were a tween in the 80's too? Did you dedicate your side ponytail to Atreyu? Or was that just me....?

The Answer

2011-01-11T14:21:00.000-08:00

Apart from being a pretty bad picture with Violet blinking at that moment, the truth is that this...

...was was nothing worse than a little watercolor paint! Take a closer look:

She strolled into the room nonchalantly like if she hadn't just painted her own face. Man it cracks me up when kids do stuff like this!

Guess what?

2011-01-10T11:47:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of Violet from Friday.

I will tell you tomorrow what this is all about, but first you have to guess what happened.

Good Morning, Las Vegas!

2011-01-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

The payoff for waking up before dawn:

Good morning, Las Vegas!

The Brunette Rapunzel

2011-01-05T13:48:00.000-08:00

I am the brunette Rapunzel of my day.

Even though in the new Disney movie she becomes brunette at the end when the magic is gone, I would like to say that my magic is still here. But its not here, the magic is really dead. My hair is ridiculously long, and I will tell you why.

It is ridiculous that when I sleep my long tresses get caught beneath my shoulders. Sometimes, if I roll around too much it wraps around my neck.

It is ridiculous that when I eat I get crumbs and even bits of food in my hair as it flows over the front of my shoulders and down to the table and practically to the floor. Like an oh-so-sexy mustache food-catcher. Almost too horrifying to even admit.

It is ridiculous that my hair is so long that when I am cooking dinner my hair sautees the veggies in one pan while my hands cook the chicken in the other pan.

It is ridiculous that I can use my hair as a nursing sling. Double ridiculousness points because I don't even have a nursling anymore.

It is ridiculous that my hair can work the mouse and the keyboard, and is typing this right now.

It is ridiculous that I could actually murder someone with my hair in more than one way, if I were the murdering kind. Which I am not. But if I were, I could a) strangle b) trip someone down the stairs c) tie them to a rock and leave them to be eaten alive by vultures under the desert sun (and when I say "leave", I mean I would sit in the shade of the rock while the nastiness went down.) Then I would have to try and get the vulture smell out of my hair, and I really don't think Paul Mitchell makes an Anti-Vulture Clarifying Shampoo. And even if he did I could not afford the buckets of shampoo I now need to wash my hair.

I could totally hold someone captive, just like this.

It is ridiculous that I can write an entire post about how ridiculously long my hair is.

And even though I could have just tweeted "I need a haircut", I decided to share this ridiculousness with you, dear bleeps. Who has a good recommendation for a hair salon in Vegas? If a salon gives me a free haircut I will review it right here on my blog. Free-ish advertising for the salon, and very free hair cutting for me. Also, I will be freed from the chains of my lustrous locks. Win-win-win!

New Years in Las Vegas

2011-01-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

I am posting right now because it is clearly the "thing" to do. And you all know how appropriate I like to be. If nothing else, this and this have proven it. There are lots of other examples of how appropriate I am, but you will just have to read through this blog to see them all.

So Happy New Years! But now I am going to go out and live my life. I will be back later this week as soon as my kids give me something insane or funny to blog about... which they usually do. Maybe I will even be inspired to do a New Years recap of 2010!

Best wishes!
XOXO

Kid-Friendly Ways to Ring in the New Year in Las Vegas

2010-12-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

I've searched and searched and SEARCHED, and SEARCHED for kid-friendly things to do in the city for New Year's Eve.

There isn't much, because, well... this is Las Vegas. I will tell you this - taking your kid to the Strip on New Years Eve probably borders on child abuse. Don't do it. Leave them with a baby sitter, please. Apart from the unsavory craziness, there are the crowds...and those will easily crush your children like a used tissue. Does it sound scary? Because it is.

But if you are interested in blowing a noise-maker at midnight with your kids out in the city somewhere (off-Strip), you can read about what I did find, right here. And the good new is that these are very safe options!

Isolation

2010-12-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

The festivities are largely over. My family has gone home. Wrapping paper has been cleaned up, leftovers are mostly gone. Puppet head on a stick has gone back into hiding. I am back to being home alone with the kids, and with no car. I am feeling stuck.

There are any number of crafts I could do. There are tons of things I could be playing with the kids. I could be organizing. Cleaning. Doing laundry. But I have no desire to do any of it. I am sleepy. I want to sleep. But that clearly is not an option. There is not a single thing I can think of that I am actually interested in doing right now. Other than sleep, natch.

So I am sitting here, listlessly surfing the net while the girls zone out to Sesame Street. I should start some lunch, they'll be hungry soon. Looks like a microwaved frozen nuggets kind of day. Ketchup counts as a vegetable. TV and nuggets? I am Mother of the Year... for a few more days at least. In a few days its a new year and the award is up for grabs again, lucky you.

And as I sit here reading through some of the other blogs I follow, I wonder why it is that no one has ever asked me to guest blog. And why no one has ever volunteered to guest blog for me. That makes me feel more isolated than just being home with no car.

Peace out, I am going to go eat some nuggets. 'Cause that's how I roll.

Puppet Head on a Stick - Holiday Edition

2010-12-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

Puppet head on a stick continues to haunt us, and that means he is still here during the holidays. If you missed the original puppet head on a stick, catch up here. My family drove up late last night, and while we all went to bed, mi familia stayed up late, partying with puppet head on a stick.

Let's start with the daily activities of puppet head on a stick, shall we? And then we can make our way down to the photo essay on puppet head on the stick meeting my family for the holidays.

Here is puppet head on a stick helping to decorate the tree.

Puppet head on a stick is slightly sacrilegious.


'Sup, Caga Tio!

Fa la la la la... la la la la!

Stocking stuffer....

Here he is reading over Violet's shoulder. Rude.

Is it me or does Ivy look like she was not expecting him to be there just then?

And now, introducing a photo essay entitled, "Mi Familia con El Payaso." Enjoy!

Meet mi madre. This explains a lot about me, am I right?

Puppet head on a stick joins all the wine-soaked fun.

Meet mi hermana as she meets puppet head on a stick for the first time.

Well, that got friendly fast. She must have had the wine goggles on.

Meet mi padre.

Photo bomb!

The day of Christmas Eve dawns with a hangover...

...But apparently it's nothing a little milk and cookies can't fix!!

Puppet head on a stick wishes you all a very Merry Christmas, from all of us to all of you!

Springtime for Nutella and Germany

2010-12-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

Tangled

2010-12-18T20:23:00.000-08:00

We took the girls to see Tangled today. We were a little apprehensive about some of the darker scenes. We had read that there is a stabbing scene. Turns out the "stabbing scene" was just the sound of the hero being stabbed by the evil witch - they never showed anything. What was scarier was the demise of the witch as she turned into a skeletal thing that staggered out of the tower and fell all the way to the ground below. I recommend covering their eyes on that scene.

But then the hero dies. I know - pretty dark for a kid movie. So Ivy turns to me during this death scene. Her eyes are wide. Are those tears gleaming?

"Mom...." she whispered apprehensively. Uh oh, I thought. This was a mistake. Why did I ever bring her to this movie?

"It's ok, Ivy," I whispered back. "It will be ok in a minute." I peered into her face, trying to see if she was crying. "Ivy, are you crying?"

"Mom..." she whispered again. No tears, I could see now. But she looked distinctly anxious. I gripped her hand, darting glances at the movie screen, wishing it the scene would be over already.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I am right here with you."

"Mom........... I want some popcorn."

How to Get Famous by Writing a Blog

2010-12-16T09:37:00.000-08:00

So we were driving somewhere yesterday evening when Ivy got really excited about something and said, "Mom!! Look! It's your blog!"

Totally random. I had no clue what she could possibly be talking about. I thought maybe she was having a stroke. Not unlike the time when Ivy was about 6 months old and Phillip and I became convinced she had had a stroke because suddenly her smile looked slightly crooked. In our new-parent haze of sleep-deprived madness we even considered taking her to the emergency room. Only the guffawing of my best friend gave us pause. Maybe we were overreacting. Possibly. We nervously fluttered around Ivy for a little while longer before apprehensively deciding that maybe, maybe she was too young to suffer an actual stroke.

So back to yesterday I asked, "Ivy, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Your blog is right there, Mom!"

I looked out the window, and sure enough.... it was my blog. So it is now official - my blog is famous!

Alice in Wonderland Birthday Party

2010-12-15T00:17:00.000-08:00

A Very Merry 4th Un-Birthday to my sweet first-born daughter! Let me paint the scene of the party for you. For all you men-folk reading this, and for other people who care nothing for party planning ideas, you can skip down to the actual party photos. For the rest of you who enjoy planning creative parties for your kids, I am giving you all the juicy details. I apologize in advance for the length of this post!

Here is Ivy, the Un-Birthday Girl:

The Menu:

Blueberry Scones

Orange Cranberry Scones

Buttermilk Scones

With:

Tea Sandwiches (made by my husband Phillip):

Roast Beef and Cheddar on Rye

Caprese

Cucumber with Dill Cream Cheese

Cashew Cranberry Chicken Salad

Snacks:

Brie en Croute with Apricot Walnut Glaze (made by my husband)

Fresh Fruit

Assorted Fancy Cookies (store bought!)

The Cupcakes:

A beautiful assortment from The Cupcakery, our fave cupcake place in town.

Cupcake toppers were made by Phillip - Vintage Red and Black drawings from the original Lewis Carroll book.

The drinks weren't too exciting. The kids drank pink lemonade from teapots, and the adults got Coke zero and water bottles that said things like "We're All Mad Here!" and "Curiouser and Curiouser!" Here are two other versions:

Are you so, so impressed with the custom water bottle labels? Don't be. I found a cheap DIY custom water label instructional online - and let me share the secret! All you have to do is print out the papers and stick 'em on there using clear packing tape. It could not be easier, but the result is beautiful. For these bottles I used scrapbook paper cut to size, and I printed the words on cream paper.

For the party favors I made personalized boxes with a Lewis Carroll drawing and each little girls' name.

Inside the boxes were a passage from Alice in Wonderland (though I replaced Alice's name in the text with each little girls' name) and a hair bow bearing a colorized image from the book. There were different hair bow colors - black, red, purple, yellow and blue. Each had a different image on it, such as the Duchess, the White Rabbit, Alice, the Mad Hatter, etc. These hair bows were custom made by Francis at Fancy That Hair Accessories. If you haven't yet discovered Fancy That, you need to take a look. She will totally make you a custom accessory too!

And now for the party pictures! The party was at Fairytales & Tutus, which means that it was a ballet class with dress up and tea party. We also had the real Alice in Wonderland come in for a little visit. She danced with the kids, read them stories, and helped serve them tea.

Ivy and Violet meeting Alice for the first time.

Alice reads her story to the kids.


Alice helped Ivy dress up just like her, and made her feel as special as could be.

Alice and Ivy

Pretty ballerina toes

Alice and Violet

During the tea party Alice kept everyone entertained with another story

Blow the candle out, my dear, and make your wish come true!

Alice in Wonderland Birthday

2010-12-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture from Ivy's birthday party. There will be more to come, but I got an early preview of it and I just had to share it. Go ahead, tell me how adorable it is.

The photographer is Sheryl Spellman, the party is Fairytales & Tutus, and the cuteness is overwhelming.

Hi There!

2010-12-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Lots of stuff going on these last couple of days... Ivy's birthday party is today.... I mean the party for her friends. We already had the family party.

We had the brilliant idea of making the food ourselves, and I got the genius idea that I should make really labor-intensive thank you gifts. What am I doing sitting here blogging? I gots ta go!!! Write at you later! Lots of pics to come!

Weird Holiday Traditions

2010-12-09T11:39:00.000-08:00

Alright, as promised here is the 411 on the yuletide pooping log. In order to put it into context, however, I must first give you some info on other holiday traditions from around the world.

In Greenland they wrap up a dead auk (it's a bird) in seal skin, bury it under a rock, and wait until Christmas rolls around a few months later. Then they dig it up, squeeze out the guts (because, ew, who would want to eat guts), and then eat the auk. Probably as part of the Christmas feast.

In Greece they hang a pig jaw in their chimneys so that the evil spirits (Kallikantzaroi) will be driven away.

In Estonia they do a Christmas Eve sauna with the whole family. Then they go to the graveyard to sing songs to the dead. They also claim their Christmas (Jouloud) has nothing to do with Christianity.

Latvians do something called mumming. The mummers dress up as horses, bears, Death or corpses. They go house to house singing songs, and they are invited in to eat and drink. I think the mummers are supposed so scare away evil spirits. Or something like that.

In Wales they take a horse skull, stick it on a pike, pretty it up with ribbons and stuff, and go about town trying to make the horse skull bite people. If it bites you, you have to pay a fine. I guess he who has the horse's skull gets the last laugh.

In the US a giant fat man with a long white beard and wearing a bright red suit squeezes down the chimney with a sack full of presents, eats your cookies and then departs on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.

Not to leave out other holidays, let's take a look at a French Easter tradition called the "Easter Bell". In this tradition, a giant bell goes house to house delivering candy. Say what now? I have no idea how in the world that is supposed to work. Does it just float around from house to house? I don't get it. Give me a magical rabbit bearing colorful eggs any day of the week over a bell, thanks.

So. Let's talk yuletide pooping logs. In Catalonia, Spain they dress up a hollowed out log with a traditional Catalonian hat (called a barretina) and fashion legs for it. It's called the Caga Tió (Pooping Log) or Tió de Nadal (Christmas Log). They draw a face on it, and cover it with a blanket. For several days leading up to Christmas, you feed it. Then on Christmas you beat it with a stick, sing a song and then look under the blanket. If you fed it right, it will have pooped out gifts. This is not to be confused with the tradition of the Caganer, which is a figurine of a person defecating hidden somewhere in a nativity village scene. You can google that one, because I am not sullying my blog with a picture of it.

So the song goes:

Poop log,
poop turrón,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
Don't poop sardines, they are too salty,
poop out turrón, they are better,
poop log!

At the Catalonian Christmas party we went to the girls got to make their own Caga Tió, complete with a little barretina hats. Here is a picture of all the kids' Tiós, lined up under the Catalonian flag with little bowls of snacks in front of them.

There was also a regular sized Caga Tió:

And here are the kids, singing the song and beating the...um.... well, beating the crap out of it.

If you need to get a better idea of how it all goes down, here is a YouTube video of some kids singing it.

And that, my friends, is the Catalonian yuletide pooping log! And I have to admit, it is a whole lot of fun.

Holiday Events in Las Vegas

2010-12-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

Ah, where to begin? I have so much to say to you about the last 4 or 5 days. There was the whole stomach flu escapade. There was Disneyland. There was a yuletide pooping log. Yes, I said a pooping log. Early this morning in between sleep and awake I had an idea for how to make this a whole, cohesive and entertaining blog post. But I lost the idea when I fell back asleep for 30 seconds.

Let's start with the sickness. Here's the story: there was sickness. Contrary to what I had thought (that I felt sick from lack of sleep), I really was sick. It was awful, I was miserable, and now I am better. End of story.

I am going to skip the story about Disneyland and make that a separate post.

That brings us to the yuletide pooping log. It is much more poetic in Spanish- Caga Tio. Well. Not too poetic. But better than Pooping Log. Ok, never mind. I need to make that a separate post as well. Just forget I said anything at all and think about what holiday activities you have planned this month. If you have yet to decide what to do, you should read my AOL article about holiday events here.

In the meantime I leave you with this image of a Caga Tio, aka Catalonian yuletide pooping log.

The Baby Nari Hip Hugger Giveaway

2010-12-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

***GIVEAWAY CLOSED-CONGRATS CATHOLIC MOMMY***

Remember the ABC Kids Expo? Let me refresh your memory here and here. One of the things that really impressed me was how many interesting and innovative products are out there. And one that really caught my attention was the Baby Hip Hugger by Baby Nari.

You know how some days your baby or toddler flat out refuses to be put down? How no matter what you do or say, they screech like banshees if they are so much as an inch away from you? Well, Baby Hip Hugger can and will rescue you.

The Baby Hip Hugger is a little ledge that fits around your waist which you can use to distribute your toddler's weight more evenly. It was invented by a father who had to tote his little daughter around incessantly. A little light bulb popped on over his head, and the result is this very innovative product.

The Baby Hip Hugger has been a lifesaver in numerous situations around the house. I even took it with me shopping. I put Ivy in the cart and Violet sat on the Hip Hugger. I made it all the way in and around the store for about 10 minutes before Violet started insisting she wanted to be put down so she could wreak havoc with the displays. At that point I took it off and stowed it in the diaper bag.

Now I do have to be totally straightforward about something. Personally, there are a few drawbacks for me with this product. The pressure on my C-section scar was a bit uncomfortable. Maybe because Violet weighs about a bagazillion pounds. I had to wear it on my side instead of in the front. So if you are a victim of the C-section epidemic, your positioning will be a little limited. Another drawback is that even though it is perfect for shopping when you have to carry a toddler and push a cart at the same time, you then have to remember to pack it, and then you have to cart it around with you if the baby has had enough. And the third issue is that I have a bit of a "tricky" back. Any extra weight or pressure and my lower back starts hurting. If you do not have a delicate back, this will not be an issue. It takes weight off your arms, but adds some to the lower back.

Other than that, if you are not a delicate little orchid like me, I definitely recommend the Baby Hip Hugger as a great solution to help carry a clingy baby for extended periods of time, especially around the house. Once you try it out you are going to want to thank me. And I will be here, waiting for your gratitude. Like a shark waits for baby seals to innocently swim by. Or like something slightly less threatening, but that still has large unhinged jaws with which to consume your gratitude. Wait. Now I just realized I likened myself to both an orchid and a shark in the same paragraph. I guess you will have to decide what I really am. And whether you want to swim a little closer to me.

Anyway, are you itching to try one out a Hip Hugger for yourself? We have a discount code if you just want to buy one. When you check out enter code "vegasbaby". Or, you can enter to win your own Baby Hip Hugger! You should follow steps 1 through 3 to enter. The giveaway will end in one week.

1. Follow this blog publicly
2. Like Baby Nari on Facebook
3. Comment on this blog telling me you have completed steps 1 and 2.

Extra entries (please comment after each extra entry telling me you have done so!):
Follow me on Twitter - @thelasvegasmama
Leave a comment on Baby Nari's Facebook telling them which color you like best.
Tweet this giveaway (one extra entry per Tweet): Enter to #win your own Baby Hip Hugger! http://tinyurl.com/33evdm #giveaway

Holiday Lights in Las Vegas

2010-12-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, I am in Los Angeles at the moment, and Violet spent last night being sick all over the place. Like as in, she was getting sick every half hour all night long. It was rough, I'm not gonna lie. Now I am feeling a bit sick too, but I think its from lack of sleep. Because lack of sleep is disgusting and wrong. And it makes me sick.

I will write more when I get back to Vegas, but in the meantime, here are some places where you can see the Christmas lights. Oh, and I will remove the turkey header when I get back too. Because right now I have bigger fish to fry. One fish in particular, actually. Her name is Violet.

Mountain's Edge Snow Day

2010-11-30T11:26:00.000-08:00

For all my local readers, you may not have heard about this yet, so here it is.

Snow Day is Saturday, Dec. 4th at Exploration Park at Mountain's Edge. And the best part is that it's free!

I Like Driving People Away from my Blog

2010-11-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

Apparently I my blog is starting to be like the bubonic plague of blogs. Because people are avoiding it like the...plague. First of all, no one commented on my last post. Ouch. See, this is what happens when I stop trying to be entertaining and just write what is on my mind. And second of all, no one commented on my last post.

I am weeping. Ok, I am not weeping.

But seriously, where is everyone?? I am pretty sure most of you have nothing better than to wait around, refreshing the browser to see if I posted anything new. I mean really, it is not as if there was a holiday recently and you are all catching up on everything that got put on hold over the holiday! Oh, wait.

How to Spend Quality Time with Family

2010-11-28T23:07:00.000-08:00

The Thanksgiving holiday was all kinds of awesome. There is nothing in the world like spending quiet, quality time with the people you grew up with - the people who know you better than anyone else in the entire world (except my husband, who uncanny with predicting how I will react to things).

Although Thanksgiving Day itself was a lot of fun, Saturday night seriously takes the cake for fun family nights. My mom and sister cooked an amazing dinner. In other words, I did nothing! Yay!!!

We also cracked open a few bottles of wine. I am not much of a drinker but when the mood strikes me for wine, I gets all thirsty-like. So glug glug glug. I had a couple reds. A few whites. Over the course of what was probably two hours, we had that delish dinner, drank up, and had a very engaging and lively conversation about life, religion, and... well...ok, it was just life and religion.

Ivy and Violet eventually decided we were not paying enough attention to them and pulled me and my sister Natalia away from la sobremesa (a Spanish word that refers to the period after the meal is over when you linger at the dinner table with friends and family, just talking and sipping wine). They wanted to play Hide and Seek.

And let me tell you - playing Hide and Seek is totally fun. And it is even more fun after 2 or 3 or 8 glasses of vino. After we played for a while I had to ditch the game because I was getting dizzy. Fortunately, I had already cut myself off when we started playing. Ok, maybe I did hide once with a glass of wine in my hand. I can do that, its my house, I am the boss, and there is nothing wrong with playing Hide and Seek while clutching your wine, as long as you do not spill.

Feeling all giggly and silly, we put on waltzes and danced around while Ivy and Violet bounced around us and off of us, like little pinballs. Someone had the brilliant idea of putting on Sardanas (traditional Spanish dances). We got into a circle and danced our little hearts out! It was the best fun I have had in a long time.

Side note- here is a very little known fact about me: I used to be part of a Catalonian dance group (Grup Dansaire) that did the traditional dances from Catalonia, Spain (Barcelona is where my mom's family originated).

Wanna see what my mom, my sister and I danced on Saturday night? It looks deceptively easy. Fast forward to the last 30 seconds to a better idea of what it takes. Also, before you start to mock me, you should know that it is incredibly fun! Plus its my heritage - that makes it automatically cool, suckas!

Here is more of the type of dancing that the Grup Dansaire did:

Wish there was a Grup Dansaire in Vegas!!! Woot!

Black Friday Sale

2010-11-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! Hope you had a beautiful Thanksgiving!

I have nothing much to say, except "Good Luck!" on shopping all those Black Friday Sales! I, for one, am going nowhere. This is a perfect day for staying warm and cozy and spending quality time with la familia.

I am going to start decorating for Christmas, do some crafts, and be as silly as possible with my family. What are you doing today? Braving the sales? Drinking hot chocolate and eating leftovers? Watching snoozeball? Are you still in a food coma from yesterday? Whatever it is, I hope you are happy and having fun.

Candyland Birthday Party

2010-11-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend we had a combined birthday for Ivy and Violet, so that our families could come up from LA and help us celebrate. Along with our families, I invited my BFF from LA and my BFF from here in Vegas. Feel special, BFFs. It was only my family and YOU. Are you so, so honored?

Anyway, at the last second I decided to just go for a Candyland theme. I only had 2 days to plan it because up until 2 days before hand, I was totally uninspired. This is what I came up with.

Sugar cookie lollipops, made and decorated from scratch


Cupcake sugar cookies

Sugar Cookie gingerbread men, decorated like the game pieces

Gingerbread men, candy canes and the Lollipop Forest cutouts for the walls.

I used different sized glass containers along these ledges and filled them with different candies

Fun signs

Violet trying to break into the candy...

...And she succeeded.

I made Ivy this "I Heart Candy" shirt using felt and a glue gun. Simple, quick, and cute.

The birthday girls. Violet's shirt says "100% Sweet". I totally didn't make that one.

Granted, my little theme is nothing compared to some of the other parties I have seen on various blogs. Now those are some Candyland themes done right! But for 2 days prep, I was perfectly satisfied with how it turned out.

The next party I am planning is for all of Ivy's little friends. This was a family affair, and now its time to work on something for friends. Violet doesn't get a party for her friends because... well, she is 2 and she doesn't really have any yet.

I am working on the invite for that party, the theme is Alice in Wonderland. If you are reading this and you have little girls who are friends with Ivy you will be getting your invite next week. If your daughter is friends with Ivy and you do not get an invite, then I am a totally thoughtless jerk and you need to call me out on it so I can get your invite to you!