Las Vegas Mama

This totally cracked me up, I do not know why. It just tickled my funny bone like you would not believe. Its a beanie. For a baby. Its called... ready? .....  a Boobie Beanie! Normally I am a bit protective of the muppets , and prefer modesty in all things. But this is a nursing thing. It falls under the "natural" category, so it does not offend my sense of modesty. Granted, I may never want to put one on my baby, but I sure can appreciate it because I am very pro-nursing, and sometimes when you are nursing you feel all exposed, kinda like this. Whew! Still laughing...! If you love it and must have it for your nursling, you can get it here .

Ivy loves ballet . Mucho, muy mucho. So today she was talking about how she wants to go on point (en pointe). For those of you not conversant with ballet terms, this is being on point: Purty, ain't it? Here is how the conversation went. Ivy: When I get 4 yeaws old, I am going to go on point. Phillip: No....you can only go on point when Miss Alene says so. Ivy (exasperated): Oh, fow goodness sakes, Dad, I'm not going on point now , don't woowy (worry) about it! I said I'm not going on point until I'm fouw ! Tsk! "Don't worry about it"??? Now that's sass, if I've ever heard it. But considering how funny something so teenager-ish sounded coming from a 3 year old with a lisp, it got a pass, a long laugh and a blog post.

This is the question of the day, brought to you by Disney's Peter Pan. I love how no one worries one iota about how racist that is, and how there is a whole song dedicated to such important questions as: 1) What made the red man red? 2) When did he first say "ugh"?, and 3) Why does he ask you "How"? "Because, you see, once the injun didn't know all the things he know now. But the injun, he sure learn a lot, and it's all from asking 'How'?" Indeed. Let us ask our own "How", shall we? How is it that the girls have seen Peter Pan this many times and the DVD hasn't cracked yet? How is it that I have no TV, but the girls still spend this much time watching cartoons?  How is it that I give the dog a bath every week but she still stinks? How is it that I have been exercising a ton, eating healthy, and still not losing any weight? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How did it ...

As promised, here is the video I was talking about in yesterday's post. I'm sure you will recall why I was so upset about the girls not swimming. Granted, this development doesn't apply to Violet...yet. But I am sure that once she sees Ivy doing this kind of stuff, she will be quick to follow.   How did this happen, you ask? Good question! All I know is that a couple of weeks ago we had some friends over, and their kids swim like little fishies. Although Ivy would not put her face in the water when they were here, that week she suddenly became brave. And every time we went swimming she became a little braver... until...she can now swim across the pool!!  I am a very happy mama.

What must it be like to be a toddler? I am sure they think they are making sense. And maybe they are, but I just don't get it. Or maybe being a toddler is like being on drugs. I don't know what that is like because I have never tried an illegal drug in my life. But I imagine it could be like a toddler's mind. At lunch today this was the conversation, all delivered with wide-eyed enthusiasm: Ivy: Maybe I can eat angwy pasta. You not know what angwy pasta is? Its just... you eat it when you are sick. I ate it. You know who has it? Pinnochio's kitchen table has it. He do's (does). I saw'd it. And he has chocolate apples candy pizza.  And wombs (worms).  Weally ugly gwoss cooked wombs. (laughs) Just for pretend wombs. I'm just kidding about that. Candy wombs. And hair. (laughs again) Gween beans. Chocolate gween beans with apples. And lollipops, and corn and chocolate chip ice cweam, vanilla cweam cheese, womb stockings, frutilla*  carnival, cookies, u...

"What, too much?"

Kids think they can do all sort of really amazing things. For example, today Ivy has said "look, mom! look what I can do!!" for the following things: Running around in circles Eating a potato chip (it's actually a pop chip, so it doesn't count as a parenting fail) Jumping up and down Moving her arm in random patterns Completely disrobing Violet down to the birthday suit (ok, I admit it is pretty cool she has the dexterity to accomplish that.) Putting crayons in a container I want to tell her that I would be more impressed if she would break out playing a Tchaikovsky concerto on her violin, but I don't think she would appreciate where I am coming from on that.

You should know something about me. I really love for sweet little girls to look like sweet little girls, instead of like rock stars or prosti-tots. Call me old-fashioned. I found this website called Grammie's Attic , and I although I haven't managed to justify spending the money for any of these dresses, I am still dreaming of seeing Ivy in one of them some day. They remind of days gone by...yesteryear, if you will. A kinder, gentler time where everything looked slightly fuzzy and bright and dreamy. Birds chirped, muffled conversations echoed, and laughter could be heard in the distance. I am pretty sure things looked and sounded that way back then. The movies show us that, so I figure it must be true.

Hippies Cemeteries Baby falling asleep in your arms so deeply that their thumb drops out of their mouth and they don't even flinch