Las Vegas Mama

I went to dinner tonight with some ex-coworkers, who are now the current co-workers of my husband. I accompanied him as my wifely duty dictates - to love and obey, and to be his arm candy. That second part is biblical, look it up. As you may have noted via my previous tweet, having dinner with ex-coworkers when you do not have a job is a really special kind of awkward. Here are some actual questions I have fielded in the past while accompanying my husband to office functions: Q. So, what do you do all day? A: Pop bon bons and watch my stories. Q. What do you do with all the free time you have now? A:  Get mani/pedis/facials every day. My beauty routine takes up the time I would usually use to work. Q. When are you putting your kid in preschool? A. Never. My kid has the rest of her life from age 5 onward to try and distance herself from me. I will be using the first 5 years to convince her that she cannot live without me. Q. When are you coming back to work...

Today is not a good day for milk. I know that sounds like a very dramatic and maybe even judgmental statement. But hear me out before you decide that I am an anti-bovine milk hater. Because I am not. I love milk. Usually. This morning Phillip dropped a gallon of milk on the floor. The sound of it woke me up and sent me to the kitchen to see what was happening. The jug had slipped out of his grasp and the impact of it hitting the floor made it burst a seam. The result? A milk lake. All over the kitchen floor. And on part of the carpet adjoining the kitchen floor. Did I also mention it was about 6am? "I'll take care of it," I murmured sleepily. Phillip put towels on the lake until I could finish prying open my eyelids enough to see what I was doing. Fast forward to lunch time. Both girls are drinking milk with their lunch. Violet drops her entire glass of milk all over the floor and all over the dog, who was haunting them for scraps. Now my dog doesn't just smell l...

If you need a laugh this morning, this is for you! My absolute favorite part is when one of the moms "plays" the guitar (broom) with the wind blowing her hair! Mommy Rhapsody from Church on the Move on Vimeo .

...will help you clean your house when its so messy that you can't find a single pair of shoes to wear. Thanks, Naomi!!!   Source

Why is it that when I try to wash my counter tops with soap and water they end up smelling worse than before? Oh.  Time to buy a new sponge. source