Las Vegas Mama

So, I am a few days late in reporting back how Midnight Mass went, but here it is. It actually went very well. Rose stayed asleep through the procession, which slowly wound its way around the church. The priest was holding her through that procession at the start of Mass - he and "baby Jesus" came last, after a slew of incense-bearing altar boys, our deacon, another priest, and Phillip and I. When we got to the altar he gave her back to me so that Phillip and I could move forward to place her in the manger. Then the manger scene was incensed and blessed. It was a truly beautiful moment, and I imagined Jesus as a newborn, come to save the world.  What an incredible sense of hope! Up until this point Rose was incognito in her white swaddling cloth, so I am sure everyone was like, "Oooh, what a cute little boy!" and "Awwww, sweet baby Jesus!" But then? Our priest outed her! He announced for all to hear that this was Rose Felicity and she was our baby Je...

Just about everything on my Christmas to-do list has been accomplished (because I am just that good).  The only thing left now is midnight Mass tonight, where Rose will be playing the starring role of baby Jesus. I'll be swaddling her in white, so no one will be the wiser that our pretend Jesus is actually a little girl. This part she is playing is my ticket to getting reserved seats at Mass, which is no joke. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a seat at Mass for Christmas? The place is overflowing. You have to get there hours early just to get a seat. The trade-off, however, is that I have to attend the Mass the priest wants baby Jesus to be in. Midnight Mass. So there's a little give and take involved. I give you my baby, you give me seats, and I take a caffeine pill to stay awake through it all. Ho ho ho! The jokes on me, apparently. I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, have a very Merry Christmas and I'll see you on the flip side!

I have a stash. . . . . . . . No, not a 'stash! Much as I love a good mustache, I don't mean that kind. What I mean is that I have a candy stash.  . . . . . . . . . No, no, no...not a candy mustache. Though these do look tasty - what do you figure, black licorice or chocolate? Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I have a stash of candy that I hide from my kids and husband. This secret cache of sugary goodness is what often gets me through my sleep-deprived days. Funny thing about newborns - they do not sleep for very long before needing a diaper change or a feeding. So I have been using candy as a pick-me-up whenever I feel tired, or stressed, or sleepy. Which is about 22 out of every 24 hours in the day. But see here is the thing - I have to hide it, otherwise everyone else will eat it and then where would I be? I would still be tired, stressed, and sleepy - but without candy. And mama doesn't like that. So I keep a stash. What vi...

Do you have any idea what it's like to have a chicken dance on your face? Or wear giant Hot Pockets on your hands? ...No? Well, up until this week neither did I. But now I can honestly say I have experienced life to its fullest. No - I'm not referring to delusions brought on by illegal narcotics even though it sort of sounds like I am. This very odd-sounding experience was actually not that odd. In fact, it was stunningly fantastic. Again, not drugs. The truth is that I was fortunate enough to receive an invitation by Euphoria Salon and Day Spa to come and try out their spa services. I've been going to Euphoria for several years for haircuts and manicures (love!), but had never tried out their spa services.  "Would you come get a massage and facial?" they asked. Um, yes. Yes I will. They treated me to a Mom's Escape Package, which consisted of the Classic Facial (50 minutes) and a Swedish Massage (also 50 minutes). As a mom of 3, including a newbo...