How to Have Your Own Reality Show

I was recently contacted by a French reporter named Maxime Souville for a travel show called Echappes Belles. They were planning on doing a show about Las Vegas, and they wanted to find a family they could follow around for a day to see what life was like for families living in in this city. Contrary to the image Las Vegas has as a giant adult playground, there are actually plenty of families here hanging out at the regular kid playgrounds.

They asked me if we could be the family they focus on. We said yes, because what the heck, but I made them sign a waiver that I would not be held responsible in the event their viewers died of boredom.

Monsieur Souville and his partner Jeremi showed up bright and early on Monday morning, followed us to daily Mass, followed us home again, watched me homeschool the girls, followed me to the grocery store, then to recess, home again for lunch, and then out to the District to watch us hang out as a family when Phillip got home.

It all went smoothly for the most part, except for one incident at the end of the day. We were just chilling at the District in the kids' play area, and Phillip was carrying Rose and playing with Ivy and Violet. As he often does when we are there, he sent them running around the spiral pattern in the floor and started chasing after them. While still holding Rose.

Unfortunately, an 8-year old boy decided he should jet directly in front of Phillip and he tripped him badly. Between Phillip's lanky legs, the small boy, and the high speed, it was a disaster waiting to happen. They all went down hard. I think the boy was actually pulverized in the accident.

And fortunately, the camera just happened to be pointing at me when this all happened. Thank heavens. Because that would have been most undignified for Phillip's grand French television debut.

The boy was scared but unhurt, Rose was extra scared and had bumped her head a little, but Phillip took the brunt of it. Took him a while to scrape himself off the floor, too.

Note the dashing chapeau.

Other than that, the day went well.

If I had to describe our day in a word, the word would be "bizarre". To be followed around by a camera is just plain surreal. I usually do not like being the center of attention, so it was especially mind-boggling for me. It was easier to handle than public speaking, though, since in reality I only had two people watching me...I didn't have to feel a zillion pairs of eyes on me and when this airs it will have already been over for me in terms of personal experience.

And so, I now have a slight idea of what it must be like to be in the spotlight all the time. It was a fun, interesting experience. But the truth is, I could never really have my own reality show.

First, because then I would be responsible for the deaths of untold millions from sheer boredom. I can't have that kind of responsibility on my shoulders. And secondly, because having a camera watching your every move is incredibly intrusive.

Fortunately, Maxime and Jeremi were incredibly kind and charming throughout the day. When they weren't filming they even helped me out with the girls and with unloading my groceries. We all had dinner together that night at Lucille's BBQ after we wrapped it up. Their company was pleasant and interesting, just as it had been throughout the day, and I next time I find myself in Paris I will be knocking on their door. I might even turn the tables on them and do a little expose on them and what it's like to be reporters living in Paris. Granted, I will be using my little point-and-shoot instead of sophisticated equipment like theirs, but I think my readers could use a little vlog once in a while, n'est-ce pas?