Costco Pusher

Since our family has been growing larger I have been getting increasing pressure from family and friends to shop at Costco. Everyone wants me to go there. And they aren't shy about getting their Coscto-lovin' feelings across to me.

I literally cannot get through an entire visit with my mom without the topic of Costco coming up. Usually, she tries to get me to take a trip there with her by insisting there is something there that she really, really needs. Even though she is only in town for 48 hours.

And I always find an excuse of why I cannot possibly go, or why my pantry and toilet paper is completely stocked to capacity.

Because the truth is....

I. Hate. Costco.

There, I said it.  Before you delete my blog out of your favorites (my blog is in your favorites, isn't it??) let me tell you why I despise it so.

It is for many justifiable reasons. Such as the enormity of the place, the crowds, the hugeness of the bulk items, the crowds, the massive scale of the store, and of course, the crowds. I already have a hard time grocery shopping in a regular store with three kids. It already takes me forever to load everyone in, get there, shop, pay, load up and get back home. They are always hungry or have to pee at the most inopportune times. Why would I torture myself by experiencing that in a place where the nearest anything is miles away? My fear of facing familial chaos in the middle of the Costco wilderness turns me into a deer in the headlights at the mere suggestion.

So here comes my mom, driving the Costco car at 100 mph on a dark and winding road.


And there I am, deer in the headlights. Quick, think up an excuse not to go!!


 I am picking on my mom, but it isn't just her. It's all of you. You know who you are!

Here is what pops in my head when I imagine going to Costco with my three kids.


It might look like my map has the measles but those are actually people. I feel this is a fairly accurate representation of the reality. And yes, I should know - I grew up accompanying my mom to Coscto! 
That star on the map is me with the kids.

But let's take a closer look at what is going on with that pretty, innocent little star, shall we?


 Hmmm... the star isn't so pretty anymore, is it! Super close up:


And the moral of the story is...

A) Clearly, I just haven't been pushing her hard enough. I need to aim better with my Coscto car.
B) I should really stop trying to force her to go to Coscto.
C) Her imagination is worse than the truth.
D) She is completely right. Costco is a nightmare. I will never go again.
E) I could never stop going since I supplement my meals with the samples and it saves me a ton on groceries. I mainly go there to eat anyways.
F) None of these are morals. They are just multiple choices. Don't you know what a moral is, you uneducated wretch??



Comments

  1. F)

    Sooo... wanna go to Costco with me? ;-)

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  2. Brilliant thinking and I have so missed your drawings. I may be in closer agreement with you than originally thought- especially since you didn't touch the topic of Fresh & Easy.

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    1. What do you have against Fresh and Easy, anyway?? I think you need do a blog post about that, it would be pretty entertaining I think :)

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  3. Great post, but honestly I have to say I LOVE Costco! It is soo much easier to shop there with three kids than at the regular grocery store. I think you should get a membership LOL.

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  4. Andrea,
    You crack me up!!! I love the cartoons! You are extremely talented my friend. Anyway, back to this Costco situation. We don't shop at Costco because it's just the two of us so we really can't justify buying anything there because you do get so much of it. If we do ever go it's only because we have run out of two things that we like from Costco. The bacon and the packets of chicken breast. Even getting those two things is an obstacle course. I have to try not to get ran over by a frequent Costco shopper who knows where everything is and find a kind soul that well let me go before them because I only have two things! I completely understand how you could feel claustrophobic in there! Also, the excess amount of stuff is kind of overwhelming. It kind of reminds of the movie UP. Who needs basketball size apples or avocados (granted I'm exaggerating but still). They have to put hormones in some of those fruits and veggies otherwise how are they so ginormous?!?! I have heard nothing but great things about Costco from mom's "oh the formula is the best," or "the diapers are awesome." We don't have children right now so my perception of Costco could change but right now I'm happy going to my neighborhood store and buying groceries and that's it! I don't need the extra distraction of looking at outdoor garden furniture, clothes, luggage, books, or movies.

    Not to get too deep but I wonder if this "Costco Pusher" concept spills into other parts of our lives. Sometimes I will be around other mom's and they will talk about how they are raising their children or will talk about the products they are using and inevitably there will be the one mom that swears by a certain product and if you aren't using it then you are doing it wrong. Perhaps this is part of our human weakness in that we think its a one size fits all kind of deal. "I go to Costco so you must like it too." Maybe the same thing happens when we invite our family members or friends to come to mass with us and we push them so much that they end up being completely turned off to it. It's not because they don't want to join us but its because we have pushed so hard instead of letting it just be. I think this can apply to our everyday lives in so many ways... I will leave it at that.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Costco! I am going to go ponder this push concept further ;)

    XO,
    M

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    Replies
    1. Well that is very deep and well thought out...you have given me some food for thought! Very insightful!

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  5. At this point, I'm afraid of ANY grocery store with kids. I try to avoid them at all costs when I am with my children. Even the smaller ones are scary because my kids end up putting things in my cart, and a quick trip into the store ends up being a $200 bill later! I can't get myself to shop there either, but as my kids are getting bigger and eating more, I often wonder if I should just bite the bullet.

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    Replies
    1. Well don't tell anyone but I am also wondering the same thing.. if only I could get past the image in my head of how a trip there would go for me...

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    2. You need my guidance to make shopping at costco "sooo simple" ;)
      I can prepare a "How to" Shopping Guide to Costo, or "Shopping at Costco made easy."

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    3. Yeah but then the universe would implode from the paradox of "Costco made easy"... ha! :)

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  6. Now that I stopped laughing... wait.................. deep breath.... I am not ready yet...... I'll be back when I stop......
    WHEW!!! Now. I just read some sob story to balance your blog.
    Why I want to shop costco?
    1st. I get to exercise. I go when there are few people, I run all the way (stopping only for the samples. Twice.)
    2nd. I HAAATE!!!! shopping (I wish I had bold letters blinking red, but you can use your imagination, it is allowed in this blog). Once every two months or so is enough torture for me. Then, just a quick trip to the Farmers Market for fresh produce (it takes me 7.5 min to get in and out).
    3rd. Dreading having to go back to return an item (are they going to allow it? are they going to make faces behind my back when I leave? Not a prob in C.
    4th. They don't accept coupons or, dare I say it? food stamps. Have you ever been behind coupon clippers? AAAGHHHH!!!!
    Finally, #5 to 10, I HAAAATE shopping, even at Fresh and Easy! So, "loading everyone in, get there, shop, pay, load up and get back home" with children, every two months, beats doing the same every week with children. Besos!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Are you sure you don't hate shopping because you shop at Costco?? Juuuust kidding! LOL :) I love you! Thanks for being a good sport and letting me poke fun! :)

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