I literally cannot get through an entire visit with my mom without the topic of Costco coming up. Usually, she tries to get me to take a trip there with her by insisting there is something there that she really, really needs. Even though she is only in town for 48 hours.
And I always find an excuse of why I cannot possibly go, or why my pantry and toilet paper is completely stocked to capacity.
Because the truth is....
I. Hate. Costco.
There, I said it. Before you delete my blog out of your favorites (my blog is in your favorites, isn't it??) let me tell you why I despise it so.
It is for many justifiable reasons. Such as the enormity of the place, the crowds, the hugeness of the bulk items, the crowds, the massive scale of the store, and of course, the crowds. I already have a hard time grocery shopping in a regular store with three kids. It already takes me forever to load everyone in, get there, shop, pay, load up and get back home. They are always hungry or have to pee at the most inopportune times. Why would I torture myself by experiencing that in a place where the nearest anything is miles away? My fear of facing familial chaos in the middle of the Costco wilderness turns me into a deer in the headlights at the mere suggestion.
So here comes my mom, driving the Costco car at 100 mph on a dark and winding road.
And there I am, deer in the headlights. Quick, think up an excuse not to go!!
I am picking on my mom, but it isn't just her. It's all of you. You know who you are!
It might look like my map has the measles but those are actually people. I feel this is a fairly accurate representation of the reality. And yes, I should know - I grew up accompanying my mom to Coscto!
That star on the map is me with the kids.
But let's take a closer look at what is going on with that pretty, innocent little star, shall we?
Hmmm... the star isn't so pretty anymore, is it! Super close up:
And the moral of the story is...
A) Clearly, I just haven't been pushing her hard enough. I need to aim better with my Coscto car.
B) I should really stop trying to force her to go to Coscto.
C) Her imagination is worse than the truth.
D) She is completely right. Costco is a nightmare. I will never go again.
E) I could never stop going since I supplement my meals with the samples and it saves me a ton on groceries. I mainly go there to eat anyways.
F) None of these are morals. They are just multiple choices. Don't you know what a moral is, you uneducated wretch??