How to Potty Train

Wow, I have really been slacking on the blog posts. But I have a reason for that, truly I do.

In fact, I even dropped a hint of it in my last post, but NO ONE noticed! I think I am going to wait a while and see if anyone can come up with a good guess. Not that I blame you for missing the hint, it was subtle.

In the meantime, since the last post and now, I will update you on what else has been going on. I have actually potty trained Violet, and that went so remarkably well that I really could not say anything sarcastic about it. Which is a shame, because you know how much I enjoy my sarcasm. And how sad I get when I cannot take aim and shoot it at people or things like little stinging bullets... pew! pew! pew!

So the very first day Violet was at the potty like a champ. Inside of a week she was completely potty trained. I would like to brag about how fantastic I am, and about how I am the. best. mom. ever.  But the truth is that Violet was totally ready. Case in point, I noticed she was going #2, and asked if she would like to try going in her potty. She calmly told me, "No tank you, I'm just gonna go in my diapa'...."

Sweet cheeks, if you can tell me that you are choosing to poo in your diaper, then you are totally ready to poo in the potty. Commence Operation Potty Train Violet. I donned my camouflage house robe, armed myself with stickers, potty charts, and Poopy Presents (cheap little toys wrapped up as gifts to motivate her to poop in the potty), and my Ultimate Secret Weapon, which fascinates little toddlers so much that they cannot wait to use the potty again. Are you ready for it?

This, my friends, is the Potty Dance, and it works like a charm!


  1. I really am so proud of Violet (AND you!). While at the same time wondering when John will be "ready." Age six? Twelve? Fourteen? When, Lord, when?

  2. P.S. I will refrain from spoiling your guessing game, since I already know the mystery you mentioned. However, if you had offered a prize, I might have given it away!

  3. I know, you poor thing! That has got to be so frustrating. Let's hope its before he turns 21.
    BTW, you are sworn to secrecy about my mystery! Even if there were a prize, you would so be disqualified b/c you already know! Sorry, toots :)


  5. Um, ok, so maybe it's because I'm not a mom but I'm confused about the "potty dance" - do YOU do the potty dance? Does Violet do the potty dance? do you AND Violet do it together? or do you simply put that creepy thing by the toilet and voila?? I don't get it :p

  6. Laura - the robot does the potty dance. Usually, I just chant "Violet peed in her potty, Violet peed in her potty, yay! yay! yay!" And I clap along. Violet just stares at the robot with a huge smile on her face and says "again! again!" when its done. Make sense? :)

  7. weeeelllll??? i wondered why you needed that adorable moses basket, i assumed it was a gift!

  8. MUAHAHHAHA you are brilliant, NBM!!!!! :) You win most discerning and astute reader. I think there should be a prize for that! :) I am, indeed, "with child"! Lucky #3! :)

  9. So basically, I'll just have to do the same thing I do with my students - clap and act overly excited over something that you want them to do - wow! I'm feeling a bit more ready for this motherhood thing!! ... You know, for whenever it happens :p

  10. You can totally do it, Laura! You will be a natural!

  11. Can I borrow the potty dance doll when you're done? I think my 6 month old is going to start potty training as soon as she sits on her own. She hates being soiled so I'm hoping it will work to my your face diaper won't make millions off of me LOL


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