How to Potty Train

Potty training has officially commenced for Rose, who is now two and a half. Like all proper two and a half year olds, she has chosen to use potty training as a way to assert her dominance. In fact, she has asserted her dominance over the household by strategically wetting herself at all the appropriate times and in all the appropriate places.

For example, on the bathroom floor just inches away from the potty, right as the baby starts crying to be nursed. And by the dining room table just as I sit down to have lunch. Or, my personal favorite, on the kitchen floor right when I am cooking dinner and have several pans going on the stove that require constant stirring and attention. This one is particularly heinous because of my history of setting myself on fire. That's a really good story, which you missed during the last year of my not blogging. Some time I'll tell you all about it.

Rose's stubbornness and refusal to go in the potty has been frustrating, and I'll admit that I was tempted to quit and go back to diapers for a while. But what she doesn't know is that I am just as stubborn as she is. I mean, where does she think she got her hutzpah?? ME. And I am going to win this battle. Not only will I not give up, I am diabolically clever. Whether by hook or by crook, potty usage will happen.

]This isn't my first rodeo. I've potty trained before. And I was darned good at it, too. We are now on Day 4, so I will update again soon on how it is all progressing. Prepare to be amazed. By me. Not by Rose. She will only amaze you by how well she uses the potty.