I Pickled My Baby

I went to a picnic yesterday afternoon, and I unwisely brought potato chips to share. And I also unwisely brought the remains of those chips home. And I stupidly just ate the rest of the bag.

And I think I might have pickled my baby.

Do any of you know much salt does it take to pickle a baby in utero? If you do, please tell me.

I have been craving salt lately, but when I mentioned it to my OB last time he said I needed to be careful because Americans already have high-salt diets. But here's the thing - why are people always complaining about Americans having a high salt diet? Other people in other countries also consume a lot of salt and no one criticizes them for it. Its unfair. Americans are not the only people in the world who enjoy salt.

Take Argentina, for example. According to this article, Argentines eat way too much salt. But you never hear people complaining about their salt consumption. When was the last time you heard anyone purse their lips in disapproval and growl, "Those Argentines need to cut back on their salt!"

Who are these America-haters that complain about our saltiness, anyway? Last time I checked, saltiness was a good thing. Just ask any pirate if he likes a salty wench. 9 times out of ten he will say "Arrrgh", which means "Most assuredly, yes!"And the 10th pirate would have said yes too if he could hear you, but sadly he was deafened by a canon blast and could not hear the question. This makes him sad and depressed, but at least he has a parrot to be his ears and his voice, although the parrot can only say strange and discomfiting things like, "I see England, I see France, I see Bob's underpants!" And then you are like, "Who is Bob, and why is this parrot privy to what his underpants look like?"

The point is that I think salt is a good thing. It makes food taste yummy. And I am sure it makes the baby's amniotic fluid nice and flavorful. But I am a little concerned that I might have actually gone a little too far and inadvertently pickled her.