The Link Between Diapers and Vom
Ivy is 5 years old. And because she is practically a grown up at this point, I was thinking that it's time she starts earning her keep. To that end, I figured I should teach her how to change Rose's diaper.
Not that I mind changing diapers, but having Ivy do it could free me up to do other important things such as playing hopscotch. This is where I line up drinking glasses, fill them all with scotch, and drink every alternate glass. Maybe filling them with iced tea would be more prudent. But frankly, hoptea just sounds like a stupid made up game.
So a couple of days ago, I asked Ivy to come and change Rose. The moment she got close enough to smell the diaper, she gagged. Melodrama, I thought to myself as stifled an eye roll. I told her to forget it and not to worry about it - I would change Rose myself. But Ivy is a good girl and she really wanted to please me. "No, it's ok mom, I can do this," she insisted.
But as she tried to unbutton the onesie at the business end of the baby, she got a very strong whiff.
Gag!
I looked at her, trying to see if she would try to keep her cool.
Gag!
Oh no, this really was serious!
Gag!
Abort! Abort!
Gag!
"Ivy, run away!" I cried.
She ran. As she went, I could hear "Gag! Gag! Gag!"
SPLASH!
The lesson I learned that day was twofold:
1) Ivy has a very sensitive gag reflex so diaper changes are out
2) A vomit comet of cheerios and milk is disgusting to clean up
I guess I now need to find another way for Ivy to earn her keep. I am thinking something like court jester. She has a good sense of humor, I bet she would love to dress up in colorful garb with a silly hat and regale me with fine tales and silly jokes.
Do you have any bright ideas I can use to have Ivy earn her keep?
Not that I mind changing diapers, but having Ivy do it could free me up to do other important things such as playing hopscotch. This is where I line up drinking glasses, fill them all with scotch, and drink every alternate glass. Maybe filling them with iced tea would be more prudent. But frankly, hoptea just sounds like a stupid made up game.
So a couple of days ago, I asked Ivy to come and change Rose. The moment she got close enough to smell the diaper, she gagged. Melodrama, I thought to myself as stifled an eye roll. I told her to forget it and not to worry about it - I would change Rose myself. But Ivy is a good girl and she really wanted to please me. "No, it's ok mom, I can do this," she insisted.
But as she tried to unbutton the onesie at the business end of the baby, she got a very strong whiff.
Gag!
I looked at her, trying to see if she would try to keep her cool.
Gag!
Oh no, this really was serious!
Gag!
Abort! Abort!
Gag!
"Ivy, run away!" I cried.
She ran. As she went, I could hear "Gag! Gag! Gag!"
SPLASH!
The lesson I learned that day was twofold:
1) Ivy has a very sensitive gag reflex so diaper changes are out
2) A vomit comet of cheerios and milk is disgusting to clean up
I guess I now need to find another way for Ivy to earn her keep. I am thinking something like court jester. She has a good sense of humor, I bet she would love to dress up in colorful garb with a silly hat and regale me with fine tales and silly jokes.
Do you have any bright ideas I can use to have Ivy earn her keep?
That's awesome, I never even thought to have the twins help with diaper duty! My twinzies are 5 and have a chore chart they complete. It works great. http://www.accountablekids.com/ I'm not a rep or anything, I actually didn't buy one - I made my own.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
I need to spend some time on that site, it looks really interesting. And btw, twins means double the workforce, woot!
DeleteEeew! Maybe she could just serve you drinks while you rest on the couch after your hard diaper changing duty is over! Like a personal valet.
ReplyDeletePersonal valet, yes. I like that idea. I have some palm fronds that were just sitting around as decoration. I say it's time Ivy puts them to use. Great suggestion.
DeleteHa! Ivy has my empathy. I had that gag reflex, too, before I had my own. Maybe you could teach her to clean house- preferably a fresh smelling portion of tbe house!
ReplyDeleteHow in the world did you overcome the gag reflex? Can you come over and teach Ivy??
DeleteAwww poor Ivy. If the court jester thing doesn't work out, I suggest giving her the task of sorting socks. My least favorite activity. Oh, and if it makes you feel better, I cleaned up puke of a whole carton of blueberries yesterday. On shoes and hair. That was a 3 dollar puke lol.
ReplyDeleteOof, blueberry puke is the worst! Not only is it an expensive puke like you are saying, but it stains everything, too. Sorry to hear you had to deal with all that yuckiness!
DeleteThis story is even funnier in person with the appropriate sound effects. As for a job for Ivy, I say get her cooking asap - I think my family would be better off with someone else to do the food prep.
ReplyDeleteYeah maybe I can get her to chop onions or something. I hate doing that. Then again, could that be considered child abuse?? ;)
DeleteThat is so funny! When my son was little, my cousins were over. The youngest was 5, and told me that my son needed a diaper change. I asked him how he knew, and he said that he could smell it. I asked if he would double check... and he did! And triple-check... and he did!! It was so funny! Kids are such great entertainment! : )
ReplyDeleteThey are, aren't they. Those 'lil stinkers! (literally AND figuratively) ;)
ReplyDelete