Las Vegas Mama

You might be more interested in educated-literary-person questions such as, "Who is John Gault?" But today we answer the question, "Who is Pepo?" Pepo is my house guest. You know what they say about guests being like fish and stinking after 3 days. Since Pepo has been our guest for 5+ days, the stench of guest-iness is unbearable. Pepo intrudes on our breakfast. He will plop down right next to the girls, without a clue as to how inappropriate it is to interrupt their meal. Pepo will read over my shoulder when I am trying to get some quiet time in. Pepo is always here. Its like he has nothing better to do! Annoying! Who is Pepo? This is Pepo: My mom named a fly at her house "Pepo" in the hopes of getting the girls to stop freaking out about his presence. It totally worked. So when a nasty fly got into our house, Ivy immediately perked up and said, "Hey! Pepo came to our house!" Oh, joy. Now every time I try to swat him into fly-pu...

Today is one of those days when I just have nothing interesting to say. So instead of being interesting, I am going to be boring. I think you will really like it. Its very cutting edge and artistic. I am so boring I am interesting. See how that works? In order to borinterest you as fully as possible I am going to provide you with small, insignificant details of my life and surroundings, which you will then picture in your mind's eye, thus entering into a mind meld with me, a la Farscape. 1. I used to watch Farscape , a lot. I am a nerd. If you have ever seen it, please leave a comment saying so, that way I can know my fellow Farscape fans. 2. I have a baby calendar posted on my wall, where I wrote down Violet's every development for the 1st year of her life, on the exact day it happened. She is almost 2, so from that we can deduct that it should have been taken down and made into a scrapbook a year ago. 3. I am making a special little something as a giveaway. The half-f...

I went to the Rescues and Runways Fashion Show yesterday evening, and there were some really adorable dogs up for adoption. Here are some of the models afterward. After the fashion show I did a little shopping at maurices , and although admittedly I had never been to a maurices before, I think I may have found my new obsession. Their clothes are stylish and flattering, and they don't cost a spleen and a kidney (arms and legs are too common... spleens and kidneys bring much more on the black market these days than arms and legs. FYI.) Granted, the clothes are not exactly cheap either, but they are definitely within the realm of a shopping splurge now and again. I loved the changing rooms in that place... each one has different wallpaper and a different chandelier. This one was my changing room. I have been feeling like I need a makeover pretty badly lately, and the gorgeous clothes I bought helped me feel pretty, and witty, and gay. I mean that in a West Side Story sort o...

Welcome to Saturday Replay, where I succumb to my laziness and repost a previous entry! I originally posted this one in May, and I am still laughing about it. Re-Enjoy! I Will Forgive You Anything If You Make Me Laugh Last night, after spending a good while dancing around with Ivy in his arms, Phillip sat down to rest. At Ivy's continued insistence he got up again to dance with her some more. "Whew," he sighed. From where I was comfortably reclining in the armchair, I pronounced, "You're out of shape!" Phillip side-looked me and said archly, "Like you can talk, you're just laying there like Jabba the Hutt." And glancing at a butt-naked Violet, who was cackling at all the activity as she half-perched on my shoulder and chest, he added, "With your little frog thing!" I laughed so hard that I forgot to passive-aggressively torture him the rest of the evening for calling me Jabba the Hutt. PS I found out th...

Although I finished this latest princess dress a while ago, I finally got around to taking pictures of it! This dress is inspired by fashions of mid-18th Century England. Obviously the actual dresses from the era were far more elaborate, but for my purposes I think the simplified influence suffices to create an interesting and unique look. The fabric is a brocade and has a slight shimmer to it.

If you like Piña Coladas puppies raise your hand. If you like fashion, raise your other hand. If you like both those things and you raised both your hands, you look like you are being mugged right now. The point is that there is a Rescues and Runways Fashion Show going on this Saturday from 5pm to 7pm at maurices (off the 215 and Rainbow).  They run the campaign with the ASPCA in order to increase pet adoptions and awareness of animal cruelty, so the models will be doing their thang on the runway along with some adorable pups. Two totally awesome things combined. It's brilliant. Now if you don't like orphaned puppies, you have no heart. Seriously, you are a sick person. You should get help. And if you like Piña Coladas...go to a bar. I'll be joining you shortly because I also like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain. I am going to bring la familia to the fashion show, and maybe el perro too . If you are one of my Vegas readers, and we have yet to meet,...

Apparently my calculated tactic of turning my back on summer has worked. The mornings are dawning cooler and cooler, and this morning there is almost a chill in the air. Granted, by this afternoon it will be 94 degrees. But that is still not 100+ degrees. Mornings are dawning later and later...and evening approaches sooner. This morning we even ventured out and took breakfast outside. These are exciting times! To all my Las Vegas friends: You Are Welcome! I am glad to have served. I shall spend the rest of my day trying to resist the urge to dance around and sing triumphantly, "Ding dong, the Summer's dead!"

I didn't expect this to happen, but here we are. I am officially a celebrity. My adoring fans are constantly flocking around me. They want my attention. They hang on my every word. They want nothing more than to be close to me in their every waking moment. They think everything I do is awesome. Even (or especially) if it's dumb. They want to emulate me. They want to do what I do. I am their inspiration. Sometimes, when I try to get some space from them, I even move them to tears and hysterics. Are you ready for the Big Reveal as to who I am? Surprise! I am a celebrity to my 2 daughters. (Imagine cheesy let-down music here- woh-woh-woooooh!) A couple of days ago, when I was despairing about the fact that Violet would not leave me alone for an instant and Ivy wouldn't go to sleep because she wanted me near her, Phillip said, "Aren't you flattered? All they want to do is be near you." I side-looked him and tucked that gem away for the opportunity to...

Since it is Saturday and I am essentially a lazy person, I thought I would use today to repost one of my previous entries. And since it is still hot, despite my insistence that summer is dead to me , I thought this one would be appropriate. Re-Enjoy! Sun Quesadillas Some people make Sun Tea. Usually, they are super fancy and like to drink liquids while holding their pinky up and wearing their monacle. But that's not me. I make tea all regular-like, with water that you boil on a regular stove and stuff. Now, don't get me wrong - I really love fancy tea parties. And I have been known to don a monacle or two in my day. But when it comes to making things that will cook in the sun, I make Sun Quesadillas. We went swimming today, and I knew that lunchtime would come right in the middle of it. So I put together some quesadillas, wrapped them up in foil and set them by the pool to melt. When we were ready to eat, we just came out of the pool and had our delicious, melte...

For any of you who enjoy spending copious amounts of money for your kid's clothes and toys, go here and here . For the rest of us, there is a semi-annual consignment event called As They Grow coming up this weekend (Sept. 17-19) that you should check out. Its happening at the 95 and Decatur next to Toys R Us and there are over 30,000 pieces of merchandise (clothes, toys, nursery furniture, baby gear, etc) to choose from. The whole thing is run by 3 moms and their army of volunteers. I went and previewed them today, and I felt this itch to just start grabbing stuff and running to the register. I have a feeling it might be a little crazy once you get other moms in there who want the same stuff you do. I'm anticipating some tug o' wars and maybe a sucker punch or two. It seems that the best way to shop is to volunteer to set up the event, because volunteers get to a) handle a lot of the items so they can see what is being sold and b) they get to shop before the genera...

That's right, Summer. I am turning my back on you FOREVER. Or at least until next year. It took a trip to Los Angeles to make me realize that in other parts of the country, autumn is already here. Nearly every day there was overcast and chilly, just the way I like it. But the seemingly eternal summer in Vegas had so confused me, that I thought autumn was still months away. I had barely registered that it was September. And perhaps here in Vegas, it is still true that autumn is months away. Some years, we have had Hot Halloween. I hate Hot Halloween. It is so wrong .  But the trip to L.A. made something click in me. I am re-energized. I suddenly want to start doing stuff. So I decided I am going to ignore the 100 degree weather, crank up the air conditioning to fuzzy sock conditions, and pretend the chill in the air is real. There is nothing I can do about the eternally cerulean skies, though. I'm thinking sunglasses indoors will do the trick.     ...

I went to dinner tonight with some ex-coworkers, who are now the current co-workers of my husband. I accompanied him as my wifely duty dictates - to love and obey, and to be his arm candy. That second part is biblical, look it up. As you may have noted via my previous tweet, having dinner with ex-coworkers when you do not have a job is a really special kind of awkward. Here are some actual questions I have fielded in the past while accompanying my husband to office functions: Q. So, what do you do all day? A: Pop bon bons and watch my stories. Q. What do you do with all the free time you have now? A:  Get mani/pedis/facials every day. My beauty routine takes up the time I would usually use to work. Q. When are you putting your kid in preschool? A. Never. My kid has the rest of her life from age 5 onward to try and distance herself from me. I will be using the first 5 years to convince her that she cannot live without me. Q. When are you coming back to work...

...because I am watching my friend's 2 kiddos and I just got 3 out of the 4 children to take a nap! The only one still holding out as of this moment is, of course, Ivy. She always insists that she hates to sleep. But even she is in bed, and since this morning's wake-up call happened at 6am I am feeling pretty good about the chances of her also falling asleep. UPDATE from 5 seconds ago when I wrote the above paragraph: Ivy is also asleep!   I have conquered the world!!! You may think climbing Everest or being Alexander the Great is how one conquers the world, but it is not. Getting 4 children (2 of which are not yours) to nap, now THAT is conquering the world!! Even if this beautiful moment lasts only 5 minutes, this is an amazing moment in history. Granted, although 4 out of 4 kids being asleep makes me feel like I won the Iron Woman of Mothering, I know a lot of this has to do with circumstance. An early wake up call, bellies filled with juice and a snack, a certain ...