I'm a Pregnancy Hypochondriac

Just about every month I think I am pregnant again. Some might call it wishful thinking. I call it the gaping maw of dark fear. Not because I don't want another baby, I absolutely do. I wish I already had a new baby. But I do not want to go through pregnancy, not ever again.

The experience was so torturous, I dread the day I get pregnant again. Lots of women feel great when they are pregnant, I just happen not to be one of them. The things that make me suffer during pregnancy are as follow:

Tiredness
Sleepiness
Severe and continual back pain
Faintness
Fatigue
Nausea for 4 1/2 months
Drowsiness
Exhaustion

Plus I am not one of those cute, perky little pregnant ladies. I look like a cow. My belly pops out at about week 2 (seriously) and continues to grow like a radioactive watermelon until I burst. Here is a picture of my belly on the day I went into labor with Violet.



This time around, with the extra weight I am carrying, I am pretty sure it will be an unhealthy pregnancy during which I will get continual comments on how enormous I am (thanks a lot, strangers at the mall, you sure know how to make a pregnant lady happy).

I wish I could just plant a seed in a little pot, put it by the window and water it every day until Baby #3 springs into bloom. Then I could just harvest him or her using a cute little pair of gardening scissors and some jaunty gardening gloves with a ladybug print on a dark blue background.

Since it doesn't quite work that way, I know am going to have to endure it if I am going to have any more little blessings. I so want another child...but at the moment I am having a hard time getting over my dread of baking a bun in the oven. So I am a pregnancy hypochondriac. Every month the slightest symptom has got me all atwitter and reaching for a pregnancy test. One of these days it's gonna happen. You're going know because you will stop getting new posts from me. You will think, "gosh, did she die or something?" and then you will remember this post and know that yep - pretty much I am dead until the baby makes its triumphant entry into the world and I am left as a shell of my former vibrant self. Then I will slowly get back into the rhythm of things and all will be as they were again.

Comments

  1. Seriously, I always liked that picture of you the day you went into labor. No joke! I am jealous that when you were pregnant, it looked like you had a baby in there. I just looked big all around. I never even had a baby bump. Just a baby.....spare tire. Floppy and swollen at the same time, lol. Anyway....

    I think you can totally get over the worries if, when you do get pregnant, you change your mindset! You have the ability to change your feelings on how the pregnancy will go, how you feel, etc. Plus, you have the power to control what you eat! And how much you exercise!

    I'm scared for my next pregnancy, too, but I know things will be better because I have been through it before and know how I royally messed things up the first time around.

    Even though pregnancy means letting go of a lot of stuff, there are ways to make sure you at least can control that which you actually can!

    I'm biased! I want another niece/nephew! :)

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  2. Matt has dubbed me the queen of "prego-chondriac" It's an industry term. Besides, I am setting a new rule. You are not allowed to have another baby until I have one ;)

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  3. Yes, Sara! You are SO right! Andrea, Listen to your sis, would you?

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