Psychedelic Lunch

What must it be like to be a toddler? I am sure they think they are making sense. And maybe they are, but I just don't get it.

Or maybe being a toddler is like being on drugs. I don't know what that is like because I have never tried an illegal drug in my life. But I imagine it could be like a toddler's mind.



At lunch today this was the conversation, all delivered with wide-eyed enthusiasm:

Ivy: Maybe I can eat angwy pasta. You not know what angwy pasta is? Its just... you eat it when you are sick. I ate it. You know who has it? Pinnochio's kitchen table has it. He do's (does). I saw'd it. And he has chocolate apples candy pizza.  And wombs (worms).  Weally ugly gwoss cooked wombs. (laughs) Just for pretend wombs. I'm just kidding about that. Candy wombs.

And hair. (laughs again) Gween beans. Chocolate gween beans with apples. And lollipops, and corn and chocolate chip ice cweam, vanilla cweam cheese, womb stockings, frutilla*  carnival, cookies, um... pasta... plants...Missouri...a little bit of cookies but it has wasbewwies in in it. And chocolate, and tree...hm what else... snakes, lizard cookies, clouds...um um um... and nuffing else.

(pauses, looking at her plate)

Mom! Don't tell me there's potatoes in there!

Me: There are potatoes in there.

Ivy: I'm fweaking out!

Me: Why?

Ivy: Because I love potatoes.


* Spanish for strawberry

Comments

  1. MelodramammaJuly 8, 2010 at 7:08 PM

    Oh my, this is hilarious. You are incredibly talented at translating toddlerease! Please add that to your mommy resume. As I was reading this post, I was literally thinking, I could read an entire novel full of your toddler translation. VEry funny! Thanks for the laugh. And thanks for all the comment luv on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MelodramammaJuly 8, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    I have troubles with google friend connect i need to work out, in the mean time do you have a twitter account? If so, leave it in a comment on my blog so I can follow you. or email me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alice in WonderlandJuly 8, 2010 at 9:41 PM

    I have a 4 1/2 year old niece, and is so angelic looking, but she is the same child who loves snails, and will willing bring you a handful to show you the pretty, moving stones that she has found!
    Oh, to see the world through the eyes of a child again!
    Thank you for commenting on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. SaraJuly 9, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    Hey! Missouri got a shout-out in there! lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. LauraJuly 9, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    WOW! It was as if I was back in college! LOL ... I could totally picture her saying all of this :) ADORABLE!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Manda SatterleeJuly 9, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    Soooo cute! I totally pictured her saying this with her hand gestures and everything! LOVE her "r" sounds (ice cweam)!!! You are very talented in translating her conversations for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amber Page WritesJuly 12, 2010 at 6:56 PM

    Yes. I think toddlerhood must be like a perpetual drug trip. I don't know from experience, but it certainly seems reasonable!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What's up??

Popular posts from this blog

How to Look Like a Rock Star

Image
Having a baby and being exhausted a lot of the time makes me feel really old and decrepit. Sometimes I see a picture of myself and I am surprised by how young I look, simply because I feel so old. And something about feeling old makes me want to at least fake youthfulness. In fact, I think this is what you call a mid-life crisis. Or a mid-childbearing crisis. I don't want to be matronly. I don't want to be called "Ma'am". I want to be youthful and be called "Miss". Sure, the correct term for a married woman with 3 children is "Ma'am". But I am throwing convention to the wind here because I pretty much want to pretend. I want to get hip. Be cool again (ok, I've never actually been cool, but I did say this was for pretends). So I took a little trip down to the fantastic Euphoria Salon for some  help. Here is before, at home with the baby. Clearly something needs to be done with those split ends either way. Soooo.... let's cho
Read more

How to Potty Train

Wow, I have really been slacking on the blog posts. But I have a reason for that, truly I do. In fact, I even dropped a hint of it in my last post, but NO ONE noticed! I think I am going to wait a while and see if anyone can come up with a good guess. Not that I blame you for missing the hint, it was subtle. In the meantime, since the last post and now, I will update you on what else has been going on. I have actually potty trained Violet, and that went so remarkably well that I really could not say anything sarcastic about it. Which is a shame, because you know how much I enjoy my sarcasm. And how sad I get when I cannot take aim and shoot it at people or things like little stinging bullets... pew! pew! pew! So the very first day Violet was at the potty like a champ. Inside of a week she was completely potty trained. I would like to brag about how fantastic I am, and about how I am the. best. mom. ever.  But the truth is that Violet was totally ready. Case in point, I noticed sh
Read more

How to Battle Caffeine Addiction

Image
How can you battle caffeine addiction? Um, you tell me because I have no idea and I've been struggling hard against becoming addicted to caffeine. Heck, I even struggle against the idea of needing something like caffeine to get through my day. But the truth is that caffeine is like having a secret mommy superpower. Caffeine makes me brave. Caffeine makes me want to live my life to the fullest. I can accomplish things when I have had coffee. It...dare I say it? It makes me a better person. For example, when getting ready to go to the park with the kids, I normally just throw whatever on myself and the kids, and walk out the door. But when I have had coffee it makes me do crazy things like care about our appearance.   And, because I am nursing my 2 month old, she can also accomplish amazing things. When I have had coffee, I can do a million things at once - like clean everything while talking on the phone with caffeine-less friends, nurse the baby , and just about anythin
Read more